The Day After

We decided the whole NationDates thing just wouldn't work. NSers are obviously not ready for love. Ach well. I'll have a bunch of amusing complaints and comments we got from that very interesting day ready for your perusal in the near future.

In other news, I got my blood donor card yesterday which was great 'cos I've always been interested to see what my blood type is. I'm B+. This means that if anyone tells me to 'Be positive!' I can say 'How did you know?'

The winner of the thirteenth Lancre Cup was announced yesterday also. Determined Cows is our grand winner.

NationDates

As you will almost certainly have noticed, we've decided to change the game a bit. Frankly, NationStates was getting a bit expensive so we've incorporated the ideals of matching services for all those lonely for love. Right now it's just being tested, but soon we'll be charging for its use so enjoy it free while you can!

Here's what Sal said earlier:

In an effort to keep from going broke and needing to take down the game, we've decided to change the game to NationDates. It's the same game that you know and love, except now we're moving into social networking and hoping to help you meet someone that you know and love.

The data that we've collected from your issues and play style place us in a unique position to accurately match you up with a fellow player and not need to worry about political incompatibility. We are working on effective ways to monetize NationDates in the near future.

We hope that you like this new direction.

SalusaSecondus
NationDates, Chief Minister of Hookups

NationDates has worked well so far in our beta testing, perhaps even TOO well:

I met [violet] on NationDates and we've gotten together and have been bringing beautiful things to life ever since.

- SalusaSecondus

Anyway, using the unique NationDates formula (which is influenced by a survey you fill in), it appears that GNY Embassy is my true love... see you later!

Featured Region

We have a new feature to add to the game, thanks to the combined efforts of SalusaSecondus and Pythagosaurus, our ebullient administrators.

So, what exactly is this feature? Well, go to the World page and you'll see it. It's been a fair while since that page has had any changes to it. I think the last one was adding a region search engine. Anyway, at the top of the page you'll see that a region has been selected and is on display to everyone who cares to look, along with its world factbook entry.

The honour of being the first featured region belongs to The Land of the Sewers. Taking a look at this dark and smelly place you'll probably wonder why it was chosen at all. Well, I'll tell you.

How the featured region is chosen.

The region is selected at random once a day, just like the UN rankings, from regions that fit a few criteria:

1. The region must have five nations or more.
2. The region must have no password.
3. The region must not be a class region.

That's it! I hope you all enjoy this exciting new feature. And I can promise you that we'll have quite a number of new features ready for unveiling very soon.

The Sword In The Troll

Modshort #9

This time starring the lovely Reploid Productions. Watch out, she's sharp.

Works best on 'fast'.

Of Universities And Vindaloo

I've been busy with universities again. This time visiting Glasgow University, where they have two (TWO!) organs the size of houses. All the time they led me through the various chthonic depths of the music department where twittery students would flit from side to side in the darkness like excited shadows I would cry because there were so many keyboards, pianos, organs, and harpsichords and I wasn't going to get to play any of them! The windows had bars on them which makes me wonder just how stringent rehearsal schedules are. Hmm.

Anyway, today I'm goin' on a trip to Edinburgh to give an audition and explain just why the site of an actual grand piano makes my eyes glaze and dribble to slowly slide down my chin - and it's generally because of the crappitude (it's not a real word but I reckon it should be) of the one I own right now. It goes out of tune should you so much as breathe on it, some keys stop working if you press them twice, some don't work at all with the sustaining pedal depressed, the lower register is as clear as mud, and, to top it all off, it just sounds horrible. Absolutely dreadful.

I'm afraid I don't have any interesting NationStates news today, though I have worked out how to put a link to my e-mail address in the sidebar, so if you want any help writing an issue, or coming up with ideas, or to tell me an idea, or if you just have any questions you'd like to ask me, then drop me a line.

In compensation for my lack of exciting news, I'll tell you a moderately amusing story instead:

Last Friday I went to an Bangladeshi/Indian restaurant in St Andrews with my parents to celebrate my return from Aberdeen. I announced that I would take a brief sojourn to the commode and would return shortly. I said I'd like a vegetable madras. But, unbeknownst to me, my father had sneakily ordered me a vindaloo. And I got the surprise of my life when I discovered how hot it was (it wasn't so hot that it stopped me from eating - I've built up a large tolerance over the years). I enjoyed it a lot, and I would have had another one had the events of the following day not transpired.

The next morning I was at work running a bookshop (which is my part-time job), happily cleaning books, and shelving others, when suddenly I... FELT something odd in my belly. Now, things might have not gone so badly had the bookshop's toilet been any good, but it wasn't. That toilet is one of the most shoddily constructed loos I have ever seen, and damn near the dirtiest. So, at utmost speed, I ran out of the shop, locked it behind me, and legged it to the public toilets which were thankfully just across the road. I think I was in there for about ten minutes, but it seemed more like ten ice ages had passed when I felt I was ready to vacate the cubicle. The cubicles (which looked more like cells) had no locks, and the paper was so thin as to be non-existent. What's more, everytime there was a breeze outside the door would fling itself open leaving me desperately clawing the air to pull it back somehow (there were, of course, no handles).

I arrived back at the shop and for a while I thought I was fine but then I got that certain feeling again...

Being canny, I decided to invade the hairdresser's salon-type thing next door. I explained my situation and gratefully got led to the toilet - which was right next to the salon. I think the fates kind of conspired against me that day, because there can have been NO WAY that the attractive, and curvaceous hairdressers, not to mention their customers, could have not heard the loud and unnatural noises that emanated from the door behind which I was holding my head in my hands and wishing it would all just stop. Those noises definitely did not happen when I was enjoying the relative privacy of the almost-but-not-quite-abandoned public toilets.

What a day. I had to close the shop early and leg it homewards so I could be positive I wouldn't find myself stuck without a place to go (literally).

The moral? I think it's obvious. Only ever have a vindaloo when you are sure there will be plenty of lavatories in close proximity the next day.

Oh, and it may be hot going in, but it's even worse going out.

Flightless Hippo Sightings

Yes, here's a round-up of all those flightless hippos that have cropped up all over the internet. It really is very mysterious. I thought having a purple hippo with wings was totally original but it seems that many others have had similar bursts of inspiration.

But before you report anything you must be sure - is what I saw a flightless hippo? Well, here's the three rules of thumb that you can use to identify its authenticity.

1. Is it a hippo?
2. Is it purple? Remember that colours that might be purple don't really count.
3. Does it have wings? Remember that they have to be 'feathery' wings. Aeroplane ones don't count.

If you have answered yes to all the above questions, then it is pretty likely that what you have spotted is indeed a flightless hippo. My advice is to now run before it sees you and tries to eat you.

You can also look at my flag to see the original.

Anyway. Flightless hippo sightings:

A flightless hippo with big blue eyes and spikes.

www.flyingpurplehippo.com - this one is pretty mysterious. I'm not that sure what the site's about.

A very cheery looking flightless hippo

Also, it appears there are flightless hippos on a computer game called 'Age of Mythology'. Quite why is beyond me.

The Lancre Herald

This probably won't be of interest to most of you, but some of they guys in my region have decided to start up a little blog about what's a-happenin' in our corner of the NS world. Should be a real hoot!

You can read it here at http://lancrenews.blogspot.com/

Aberdeen

I had a great time in Aberdeen checking out the university there. It's a beautiful place and I'm sure I would fit right in. They've been teaching there for over five hundred years so I imagine they know what attracts students.

I applied for an 'English Language and Literature with Music' four-year course and now that I've properly seen what it consists of I'm desperate to just get all A's on the subjects I'm currently taking.

I will have to choose a third course for my first year at university and I'm a little stuck as to what to choose. I noted the Language and Linguistics course and challenged the stall keeper to guess where I was from by judging my accent. I'm from Fife, but she guessed South England. It's 'cos my dad's English I suppose.

I asked the Philosophy stall keepers why I should take their course - philosophically speaking - and I was told that it would open my mind to an incredible range of thought provocation of which I would never previously have been able to conceive. All very well and good, but I've never been much of a thinker.

I was asked by a lady if I was interested in Gender Studies to which I replied that it was 'for girls'. She didn't think it was funny.

I trotted over to the Natural Philosophy stall and, never having heard of it, asked what it was. The keeper didn't actually seem to really be sure, and as far as I could make out it was a mixture of physics and philosophy for those who like to think big without having to be inconvenienced by such trivialities as mathematics or practical application. I was beginning to get a little suspicious by the time I'd read the rather ambiguous leaflets and asked precisely what it was that Natural Philosophy had that neither the Physics nor the Philosophy courses did. All I got was ums and aahs so I swiftly moved on.

The music stall was by far my favourite because there was a harpsichord next to it and for someone like me who has never even seen one before it was an amazing thrill to actually get to play it. It made such a beautiful sound so I wish I had one now.

I mentioned NationStates to the keeper of the Politics and International Politics stall. he seemed interested in a polite sort of way.

There were lots of other stalls as well but I didn't find them very interesting apart from the Celtic studies one. I've always wanted to learn Gaelic so maybe this is my chance! For the sake of foreign readers, I'll enlighten you to the fact that Gaelic is primarily only spoken in the more northern regions of Scotland and the Hebrides, which are over a hundred miles from where I live (central Scotland).

One of the interesting things about Aberdeen was that it was so damn snowy. It rarely snows down south where I am so I was fairly in awe of the way the entire scenery was blanketed in brilliant white. It was very beautiful. The only problem was that the pavements were as slippy as Hell, and my shoes don't have any grip anymore. I was sliding and skidding my way across the city for hours and I was very proud of not having fallen over once. That was right up until the end of the day when just as I was going up to the path of the Bed and Breakfast I was staying at (all hotels having filled up since the mis-booking mentioned in the previous article) and slipped, falling with a mighty crump right into six-inch snow.

I guess it only goes to show.

NationStates-wise, some of you may already know that we have taken on two new forum mods, Erastide and Tactical Grace. Tactical Grace resigned as game mod a long time ago due to time-keeping problems, but he's back now and with a vengeance! Look out, NationStates! As for, Erastide, well... we'll see won't we? I have every confidence that she'll be a sterling moderator.

On The Road To Aberdeen

I'm off to Aberdeen for a day to inspect a university. If I'm lucky there won't be so much snow that the whole building's collapsed. Try not to break any rules while I'm away!

I'd have been away for a few days but, alas, there was a misbooking and I have effectively wasted £60. Damn it.

I know fine that some interesting things will happen while I'm away and I'll bring you all the great updates when I'm back.

Ciao!

NSTracker

Another very cool website devoted to the various statistics thrown up by NationStates. Created by Fostonia.

Check it out!

Screwy Updates

A few of you will have noticed that things are a bit odd around NationStates right now. Populations aren't growing, issues aren't legislating, and citizens all over the world are perplexed as to why their taps aren't working. Well, I can tell you now that you needn't panic, it's just that the updates have gone a little haywire and will be fixed very soon.

In other news, there's been some major steps towards codifying invasions into the game. I can't say anything now, but I might be able to later.

Ciao!

Forums Down

Ach, it's such a shame. Brings back sad memories of long ago. Nevermind, here's a NationStates Quiz I discovered. Have fun!

Where In The World...

You may have noticed that there's a map in my blog's sidebar. It's a kind of counter that shows where the regular visitors of my blog hail from in the world. It's pretty cool to see just how widespread my readership is. I noticed it in a blog called Binnsy's Hovel and, since I'm a bit of a magpie when it concerns odd gimmicky things like these, I got myself one.

You can get one for your blog/website too at www.clustrmaps.com

Colourful Ideas

I'm happy to say that our admins have finished some new features for NationStates, and I have been given permission to share some of them with you. Others, as Pythagosaurus said, "are things the players shouldn't be told about". I can't say when these new additions will be coded into the game, because it hasn't been decided yet. If it has, then only SalusaSecondus knows when.

The features:

Colourful Words

This code will allow players to use colours and text decoration in RMB posts and telegrams.

Special Password Release

This code prevent regions with no founder or delegate from having a password.

New UN Rankings

I've already mentioned these in a previous post.

Very exciting for everyone I'm sure. There's also some news regarding the codifying of the invasion rules which is proceeding at a good pace, but boy is it complicated. There's more brackets and numbers than I've ever cared to see in one place at one time. I even saw a square root in there somewhere. Cheers to Sal and Pyth for giving this their best efforts though! This is a very important project of ours, if not the most important.

NationStates Census

I've been rather ill this last week or so, so I've not been able to blog much. Anyway. News round-up:

I got the new batch of issues, stretching from the 31st of May right up to the 13th of February 2006. One of those naughty admins installed the new issues batch without telling me (I'm certain it was Sal). It'll take a while to plough through them, but I'm a patient man. Oh, yes.

By the look of Max Barry's latest blog, he's gone to Heaven early. The fact that he's still alive can only be considered a boon. Coincidentally there has been much discussion over NationStates' future if Max Barry did suddenly expire. How incredibly morbid.

Note that intriguing part of the blog where Max says that some progress is underway in regards to the much-awaited NationStates 2...

There's proposals for a new 'feature region' feature which has garnered quite a bit of interest from our admins. We may even use it!

SalusaSecondus has generated some interesting NationStates statistics (such as the total world population) that you may like to look at:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=470125

Here's some other interesting stats of his about regions:

A few useful stats about regions (as of early this month):

Total Regions: 14375
Average Size: 8.2

Min: 1
First Quartile: 1
Median Size: 2.5
Third Quartile: 5.5
Max: 7300

Or, more specifically:
Size: Count
1: 5656
2: 2495
3: 1480
4: 953
5: 701
6: 529
7: 366
8: 294
9: 234
10-19: 975
20+: 625

My region, Lancre, has about 40 nations. I feel quite privileged to have their support when so many regions fail to get more than one member!

Issue #195 Is In The Game

Yep. And this is a special one: written by SalusaSecondus himself! But don't get too excited - it's not an Easter Egg. Just a regular one. Just five more issues 'til the big 200. Fantasticus.

Tanks A Lot!

Modshort #8

This time starring our very own GMC Military Arms.

In other news, I'd like to highlight an interesting NS-related website which lists the ten most populous regions in NationStates, among other things. Fascinatin' read, and well done to Safalra for creating it.

www.safalra.com/special/nationstates/regions

Of Thousands And Snazz

The number of Getting Help page requests passed fifty thousand on the 1st of February this year. That's fifty thousand since we got our first task on the 8th of May, 2003. Pretty snazzy.

Oh, and my blog's visitor-count has topped 3000. That's also pretty snazzy.

The new UN proposal categories have been changed a bit to make them even better, which is also of a most snazzy nature.

Oh, and I just put a new issue into the game. Snazziness reigns on high!

I've Got Company

Yep, I've got the book, which is pretty snazzy 'cos it's not out in Britain yet. How did this happen? Well, let me take you on a little adventure...

... To my sitting room. Where it all begins. Oh, yes. I discover, much to my surprise, that there is a package for me. I am further surprised when I find that it's addressed to 'Sirocco'. Who could know my secret crime-fighting alter-ego? Then realisation dawns, as I recall the boss mentioning this around Christmas time. I open the package (bearing not only its Australian stamps which only add to the experience, but the scrawl of a Mrs Jennifer Barry in the sender's signature box. Maybe I can sell it on eBay. But then maybe that'd be a wee bit irresponsible 'cos it has my address on it, and Max's address on the back too. Ach well.) and out plops my own copy of Company! Fantasticus! My dad's a second-hand book seller, so it's in my blood to be really pleased about having a signed first edition. The inscription reads thus: 'For the tireless Sirocco - Thanks for keeping NationStates ticking over. You do an awesome job! Max Barry'. I can now partially understand why people get his name wrong so often. His signature really does look like 'Max Berry'.

Anyway, I shall enjoy reading it, and I'm not going to give away anything on this 'ere blog. If you wanna know what happens, buy the book!

Six Billions

Recently, Sirocco passed the much-respected (-feared?) figure of 6000000000 citizens. They're breeding like rabbits, it's crazy. But anyway, some catch-up on the local gossip:

First of all, I'm glad to say that we (the mods) have all been contributing towards ideas for new UN proposal categories so that you can all change the world in new and wonderful ways. I've edited them down to the necessities, and so far everyone seems pretty happy with them. I just need a nod from one of the admins, and enough of their spare time for them to put 'em in. Unless we come up with more ideas or someone raises an objection. We're very democratic, and as a result we quarrel a lot, but I guess it can't be helped.

I've also had enough spare time to begin editing a new issue. Once I've edited it and the one after it we can finally go onto a new batch.

More Cartography

Another bunch of computer programs to aid you in your search for the perfect map for your nation, courtesy of Tsaraine:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=466970

The previous article on map-making can be found here.

Bastard Mod From Hell 3

Yes! Reploid Productions' saga has returned to enlighten us of those dastardly alter egos that seek to make your virtual existence a virtual hell. I may add my own little contribution later. For now, you can read what's already been written here.

Two New UN Rankings

Yes, that's right! And one of them is that new feature I was promising all that time ago when I had created some new code for the game. You'll be able to tell what it is when it shows up. With this new UN ranking you can measure a whole new aspect of your nation and look at issues you've so casually answered previously in a different light. That's if you care anyway. Which you probably don't. But the thought's there! The other UN ranking is one I've been lobbying for for a while so I'm glad it's in at last.

This is an exciting new time for NationStates and I'd like to thank Pythagosaurus and SalusaSecondus for adding these UN rankings for me (and for coming up with the description for one of them). I don't know exactly when we'll be seeing them, since the order the UN rankings come in is random and I don't actually know whether Sal's got round to installing them. But you'll know 'em when you see 'em.

Oh, and check out the RSS feed in the sidebar! I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I'm assured it means that people can subscribe to my blog. If you understand it, please enjoy it. Many thanks to Rejistania for explaining how to install it to me.

Invasion Rules Revision

All the mods (and admins o' course) have started work on trying to set up a better way of managing invasions, i.e. making sure that it's the game that stops griefing and not us. So expect to see some big changes on the invading/defending/watching-the-battle-at-your borders-with-a-big-box-of-popcorn front in the future, and a totally radical new way of playing the game through such 'wars'. There'll be some substantial changes to regional management too, which should be interesting.

Nothing's been decided yet, so don't think there's been any rule changes. You can still get deleted for kicking out everyone in the region (if you're a delegate), so mind you keep on the right side of things. So far we have come up with a number of intriguing, and, haha, secret ideas which I may expand on later if we decide to go with them. I'll tell you more when I can!

Company

Max Barry's third novel, Company, has finally gone on sale. Pretty cool. You can read more about buying it here.

New Features

Yes, NationStates has gained two new features courtesy of our admins SalusaSecondus and Pythagosaurus. The new feature that comes with all the issue updates I did long ago has not been installed yet. The new features we do have are thus:

Dossier In Sidebar

Now you can access your dossier no matter where you are looking on the site! EXCELLENT! I don't actually have any nations in my dossier, but I can appreciate how useful it is to others. This addition was written by SalusaSecondus.

Improved Nation And Region Search

Ever had trouble remembering the exact name of a nation who promised to lend you nuclear warheads? Had trouble locating a certain region that you were invited to join? Well, now you've got something other than your memory to give you a hand. If you don't put the exact name of a nation or region, the system will present you with a plethora of possible locations with similar names. This brilliant and oft-requested feature was written by Pythagosaurus.

Misplaced

Modshort #7

This time starring that crazy rascal Euroslavia in this high-budget new episode in the Modshort series. Enjoy, and don't worry: I won't answer a single loose end.

In other news, there's a hilarious thread by Dishonorable Scum to read in the NationStates forum. Check it out!

New Issue

A new issue has been put into the game. Enjoy!

Lancre Cup XIV

It's that time of the month again- well, no, not that time of the month. It's the time of the month when the nations of Lancre grudgingly search through their populace for their true champions of football, a sport of two halves. Or three thirds sometimes, like last month. It happens, it happens.

Check it out by clicking this very big hypertext!

Birthday Boy

It was my birthday yesterday, and, on the whole, I reckon it was one of the better ones. Just me, a few friends, a lot of food and drink, and some movies to watch. Nothing better than taking the piss out of a film we were too distracted to understand (The Prophecy).

I'll tell you all my age now, I think. Before, I felt it would probably skew people's opinions of me and the other mods agreed. But I don't think it matters anymore.

I'm 18 years, and one day old. I started modding at the tender age of 15, which makes me the youngest moderator operating at the moment. If I recall, Yavin, who is retired now, was about 13 and didn't get a lot of good feedback about it so I decided to keep it quiet. I'm old enough to vote, drink, and do, ooh, lots of things now. Should be great fun. See y'all later!

Hello, 2006

Happy New Year! May all your new year resolutions stick. And your UN ones if you are so inclined. I only ever tried writing a UN proposal once and it failed dismally. Can't remember what it was about now, which is probably fortunate. But I digress. I hope 2006 is a good year for you all. Have fun.

Goodbye, 2005

Ah, what a year. It's been a busy one for NationStates Mods, that's for sure. We've shifted through about ten and a half thousand tasks, received three new mods (Tsar, Fris, and Euro), lost three mods (Ineptia, Myrth, and Unfree People), and acquired a whole new administrator (Pythagosaurus) and a smattering of promotions here and there. It would take an ice age to relate all the hundreds of thousands of stories and things that have happened, but you've got this blog to look through all the way back to April should the fancy take you so we'll leave it at that.

Christmas is over. I got heartily sick on chocolates, brussel sprouts (for which I admit having an inordinate fondness), christmas pudding (just LOOKING at it made me feel ill. My sweet tooth is rather deformed - I can't stand most sweet things.), roast potatoes, odd little quiche-like things, and, of course, walnuts (which I also enjoy a lot). I received many CDs, books, chocolates, much sheet music, a portable CD player, and, for some reason, a '3D Doodle Kit' which simply consisted of two pencils, red and blue, and a pair of 3D glasses. Weird.

Hogmanay's coming up, a time that we Scots traditionally enjoy a lot. Great fun, first footing and all that. Lots of shortbread. Lots of dancing. Lots of alcohol. Lots of Robbie Burns. Lots of Auld Lang Syne. Who'd want to miss it, eh?

Then, just four short days afterwards, it'll be my birthday. It's a shame really. I've got Christmas, Hogmanay, and my birthday all within the space of ten days and then suddenly it's the long, long barren valley of other people's birthdays to traverse before anyone spends anything on me again. I wouldn't mind so much if people didn't keep giving me their gift and saying 'now this is for your Christmas and your birthday'. I appreciate the present, I really do, but you wouldn't have said that to someone who'd been born in June would you? You can't say anything of course. Just grin, smile, and nod. Ach, well, it's not important, I'm feeling in a good mood.

I'll maybe even say how old I am when the 4th of January comes 'round!

See you all next year! Happy Hogmanay!

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas everyone! Or happy holidays! Whatever you prefer, I don't mind! I hope you all enjoy yourselves.

Lancre Cup XIII: The Final

Well, I wasn't in this one (in fact I got thrashed in the first round. Ah well.), but it was a smasher all the same. Dregruk vs Tonca, both very active and upstanding members of Lancre. I must add that Yesnono who has been busy organising and working out the worrying calculations required to make the system a just and fair one and has done a great job. No, a fantastic job is the best way to put it I think. The whole ideology of the Lancre Cup is that it's all about letting your hair down and having a really good time. There's no skill needed so who gives a toss about rules? Some of the games had three teams playing each other on the same pitch which I thought was brilliant. Yesnono embraced the humour of the whole enterprise with great enthusiasm and has given it a zest I found difficult to dispense constantly. So cheers, Yesnono! Yeh've been great!

Anyone wanting to read the progress of the Lancre Cup may do so here.

Lancre Cup XIV should begin some time in January next year. If you want to participate you're going to have to join Lancre!

The Mod That DEATed Christmas

Modshort #6!

'Tis the season to be jolly, so just for the hell of it I've given the Modshort a festive theme.

Enjoy!

Prehistoric Mathematics

We have chosen our new admin, as some people will already know (we haven't gone out of our way to keep it secret). For those who don't, he is... drum roll please...

Pythagosaurus

Yes, I know almost none of you will have heard of this guy, and yes, his name is really awkward for choosing a nickname. We'll just have to stagger onwards anyway. Even if 'Pyth' is just stupid and 'Pythag' just sounds wrong. But that's not important. What is important is that he's sacrificing a lot of his spare time to help out the game, and I'm very appreciative of that. He'll be a valuable part of the team. Unless we decide not to have him. Which could happen. You never know.

Anyway, Pythagosaurus will be working on the game, adding new features wherever appropriate, taking some of the load off [violet] and Sal's perspiring shoulders, and being subservient to my every demand should I ever wish there to be changes to issues, mwahahaha. Indeed, he's started on something already, and this is exclusive knowledge, so pay attention: he's updating the nation-search system to make it easier for people trying to find a nation that they can't quite remember the name of. Fascinatin' stuff.

One of the gameplay ideas that sprung from our sessions caught on and it might just be put into the game. I can't tell you what it is, but I can say that it involves regional politics in a fairly major way.

Congratulations, Pythagosaurus (Pythy?), I hope you have as great a time as we mods do (ironic grins all round) making NationStates a better game for all the users. Stick at it and keep up the good work!

In other news, I'm not going to do any issue editing until I've finished my Christmas shopping. Distraction is the enemy here, and there's not that much time left... I can almost hear Santa's sleigh bells ringing now...

Holidays, Holidays

Regular readers (I must trust in my heart that you exist) may be wondering where I've been these last few days. The answer is, of course, that I have been Christmas shopping. I am NOT going to be caught out this year! I've nearly got all the pressies I need, and I do pride myself on always getting the perfect present for the perfect occasion, and I shall share with you some of the do's and don'ts of Christmas gifts.

DO:

• Give gifts that you made yourself. A sure hit. Why not write your intended recipient a song? A poem? Something to show you truly care.
• Give them a really good book.
• Give them a really good film. Nothing deep and philosophical. Just something you can relax, watch and enjoy without having to think too hard. Like Jurassic Park. If you want to sympathise with the plight of modern scientific ethics then read the book. If you want to see dinosaurs eating people then Spielberg's your man.
• Give them chocolate oranges. 'Nuff said.
  
• Give her necklaces, bracelets, earrings, whatever. As long as it glitters, she'll love it.
• Give him plain black T-shirts. It's bliss to have a few of those in supply.
• Give the parents scarves. Parents LOVE scarves. I don't know why.
  
• Show that you truly care. Awwwwwww...

DON'T:

• Give them fruit of any kind. I know how it sounds, but believe me: the stomach will automatically rebel at the sight of those squashy satsumas and waxy Macintosh apples. With the prospect of chocolates, brussel sprouts, and all those other delights your taste for fruit will be incredibly diminished. It's just not worth the effort.
• Give them 'joke' presents.
• Give them scented candles, incense, or any other olfactory-orientated device. Why? Because EVERYONE DOES IT. By the end of June their house will smell like an exploded shampoo factory and they won't thank you for it.
  
• Give them what you gave them last year.
• Give them what you gave their friend last year.
• Give them what you got from their friend last year.
• Give them a pet without express permission.
• Introduce them to NationStates. They'll always connote Christmas with the first day they got sucked into NS addiction. They probably won't even send you a card next year.

So, yeah, there you go. I hope this proves useful to any of you who are stuck for ideas.

In NationStates-related news, I've started work on a new issue. Should be with you soon.

On A Roll

Woohoo! That's three issues put into the game just over the last few days. There's only about ten or so issues remaining in this batch. Once I've gone through them I'll have lots of lovely new issues to consider. Ah, bliss.

In other news, we've been chatting to the few hopeful applicants who made it past the quiz at a top secret location. We blindfolded them and dragged them from their homes just to be sure that no... indiscretions would be made. We've already had to... 'remove' one... mwahahaha...

In short, everything's looking fine and dandy. You'll find out who our new admin will be soon.

Twice As Nice

Yes, today is a great day for two reasons.

First reason: Euroslavia has been promoted to game moderator! He's been a forum mod for about four months and has shown great enthusiasm in everything he's done. He won't have access to the issue editor until I say he's good enough (the idea of substandard issues being released... it fills my heart with a dark, dark chill... brr...).But I'm sure he'll be a great game moderator! Congratulations, Euro!

The second thing is that [violet] has put in the issue fixes! I'm practically somersaulting with joy here. The upshot of this? Well, first of all we're going to be able to have new issues, and secondly that some time later a new feature will be added to the game which will (hopefully) make you answer your issues in a totally different way.

One of the issues I'm going to put into the game was co-edited by Euroslavia. I'm not going to give away anything about it here. I'll just tell you that it is issue #191 and is the 190th issue to be put into the game.

Please Take Your Hands Off Your Buzzers

Anyone who dithered over whether they should apply for the prestigious title of NationStates Administrator have left it too late because the search is over and our new admin will be announced soon (how soon I cannot say).

In the meanwhile, you can take a look at the answers to the quiz here: CLICK ME!

Be warned: you may not understand the answers any more than you understood the questions!

The Assault

Modshort #5!

Now, as ever, this is best viewed when put to 'fast'. Oh, and it'll be much cooler if you imagine 'Flight of The Valkeyries' is playing.

For some reason the site destroyed my last try at this one so I've made another. Hopefully it won't disappear! Enjoy!

A Landmark Day

I recently managed to get hold of [violet] who promised to put in the new issue code I worked on in September (August? Memory fails me) as soon as possible. So you can look forwards to getting some brand new issues at last! Fantastic!

A General Invitation

Anyone who wants to join my region, Lancre, feel free to telegram me or the UN Delegate, Determined Cows. We could do with some fresh blood. We're an active community with a monthly football tournament, we like jogging and watching sunsets, we're a tall 5'11" and GSOH. Looking for a serious relationship, and if it doesn't work out we won't be acrimonious or anything.

Oh, and those who think they could be NationStates' next administrator should sign up as soon as possible. We've already begun the cruel and merciless process of Picking Favourites.

One more thing: there's a cool thread in the United Nations forum that has quite an amusing idea about the possibilites of making a UN card deck. Most curious.

Ta ta!

Will Those Of A Sensitive Nature Please Look Away...

And if that's not enough for those for whom 'curosity killed the cat' is just a superstition I have two words:

SCROTAL ABSCESS

Sorry, but I did warn you. And it hasn't been too pleasant for me either. There is some NationStates news right at the bottom, so feel free to skip the rest.

It all happened four days ago. The weather was clement and I felt quite content, but then... then something quite terrible happened. I discovered I had an abscess. I wouldn't have minded so much if it had been, say, on my elbow or perhaps even my leg. Hell, if I'd had an iota of choice I'd have had it on my nose, but some divine force said 'Nay, thou shalt have this horrendous affliction on your scrotum, one of THE most sensitive and painful places on the human body where, unless you walk like someone who's about to do the splits, will be rubbed against your legs in the most excruciatingly painful way with every step.'

It was a bugger. A real bugger. Especially since I didn't know it was an abscess at first and kept imagining all manners of horrible things. What if it's dangerous? What would happen if it leaked? Would I become infertile? Is it a tumour?! I hoped it would just disappear, but no, it did not.

The next day, I woke up, swung out of my bed and froze as a sudden pain shot through that most intimate of body parts. Very slowly I stood up, took down my trousers, and investigated. The abscess had quadrupled in size and parts of it were black. It was gigantic. It was like having three balls. No longer did I have a left and right testicle because the abscess had dislodged one of them and left me with an upper and lower testicle instead. Very, very slowly I got dressed and went down stairs to make an appointment with the doctor.

The socks were the worst.

The next day I went to the clinic. The car-ride there is something I'd rather forget. There were speed bumps.

The doctor was very understanding as she told me, much to my relief, that it was just an abscess.

'It's very painful? How does it feel here?'

'[unintelligible noises]'

'I see, well, very soon this thing's going to be burst. Would you like me to stick a pin in it?'

'Please tell me you're kidding.'

'No.'

'Well all right then. Will it be sore?'

'A bit.'

Yeah. A bit. I think we all know what THAT means.

'[more prolonged and seemingly desperate unintelligible noises]'

'All right, maybe you should do this at home? I'll give you antibiotics for the week and some painkillers. Run a warm bath later this evening and just apply pressure to the abscess. Now there's an outlet it'll all come out.'

'[somewhat high-pitched] OK.'

So, later that evening I prepared myself mentally for the worst and gave the painkillers a good hour to take effect before I committed myself. I lowered myself into the bath, washed my hair (mostly for some delaying of the Task and not because I wished my hair to be clean, fresh, and smell of Tea Tree and Mint...), and began.

The next hour was one of the most disgusting and painful experiences of my entire life. It was grosser than a live autopsy I saw on television once. It was more painful than that time I fell face forward into a deep patch of nettles. It was even more distressing than the time I got a plastic screw stuck in my right ear. It was nasty in the extreme and I will not share the details here, for I cannot think of a good reason why anyone would want to know them. I am aware that many people take great satisfaction out of squeezing pus. I am not one of them and I never will be. Words cannot even come close to describing my horror at seeing that first jet of pinky fluid shoot out and splash against the bathroom wall.

Brr...

Well, anyway, I feel much better now and I'm optimistically hopeful that what is remaining is just swelling.

In NationStates-related news, Euroslavia has officially completed his first issue with my help. I don't think it's too bad and while his grasp of coding is still weak, there's plenty of room for improvement and I think he'll do excellently with the next one. I have also been busy and am about to undertake the editing of a further three issues myself within the next week. Oh, and the Bastard Moderator from Hell saga's back in fashion. Check it out. Oh yes, one more thing, here are some responses to the ModShort with SalusaSecondus in it.

Ciao! I hope I haven't spoiled any appetites over the next three years.

How To Make Your Own Regional Tournament

Well... at the very least how to make your own version of the Lancre Cup. These are all the rules I originally came up with though I believe the current organisers may have changed things here and there:

All nations in the region are randomly drawn against each other using names-in-a-hat. First are the heats, then the second heats (if necessary), then the quarter finals, semi finals, third place playoff, and the final. How many heats you have played each day is up to you. If a nation doesn't want to compete, all they have to do is ask to be taken off the lists. If a nation dies before it's done any matches, its designated opponent wins by default. If it dies after winning a match, no changes are made.

In the Lancre Cup we don't have any RP element to it other than the carious competitors casually taunting and threatening the other sides. You can try to implement your own way if you like. A nation can win the Cup without even knowing it exists but that's not important to us. It's the taking part that counts!

Scoring goes like this: a dice is rolled for each team with 1 taken off the result of each roll. So, if you rolled a 6 for team A and a 1 for team B, team A would have a score of 5 and B would have a score of 0. If it's a draw, you repeat the rolls.

Now, after your first cup, it would obviously be silly if your finalist last time got beaten by some upstart amateur so the results of the last cup are taken into consideration. This bit can be confusing so it helps to have a piece of paper handy!

A nation which reached the heats in the previous Cup will have no changes to their score. If they score a 6, they get a 5 (remember the 'take away one' thing.)

A nation which reaches the quarter finals playoff will have one added to their score. if they score a 6, they get a 6.

A nation which reaches the semi finals or third place playoff gets two added to their score. If they score a 6, they get a 7.

A nation which reaches the Final will have two added to their score and one taken away from their opponent. If the finalist scores 6, he gets 7 and if the opponent scores 3, he gets 1.

If the opponent of the Finalist has been beyond the heats in the previous Cup, then there is no taking away goals from the opponent.

After the scores have been toted, you write a small match review. Ours are slanted humorously, but you may wish to be more serious.

Have fun! If there are any more questions just e-mail me.

Admin Wannabes

We've had a fairly heatlhy response to our advertisement for a new NationStates administrator, but that's pretty much all I can tell you as almost everything else is confidential. I have noticed an upsurge in the number of telegrams I receive asking how to become a moderator. I'm not sure why since we're not after a new one right now. Everything's just spiffy in that department. I usually ignore these telegrams but after receiving "How do you be a mod?" for the seven hundredth time (including variants such as 'How did you be a mod?', 'How can I be modrater?', and 'HOW R U A MOD?!?!') my sensibilities disappeared with this casual cruelty to grammar and I NEARLY wrote back a cutting reply.

But if you're interested, the answer is, of course, that it's just a knack.

Happy Third Birthday, NationStates!

I'd completely forgotten about this important date until I saw the news post, but that won't stop me bringing out the party whistles and having a good tootle.

When NationStates had its first birthday, Max wrote a 'worldwide' issue that everyone got which centred on that pivotal question - how do we celebrate? For its second birthday, I think we had a MaxChat to mark it, but no-one could have guessed what Max had in store for the big oh-three... and I'm as surprised as anyone else. I was vaguely aware that we were thinking of getting another admin but I didn't know that any serious thought had gone into it.

So am I going to apply? NAY CHANCE. Apart from issues code, I just don't have the technical skill or knowledge. If I tried to do anything, the Jolt technicians would find themselves awoken by the smell of burning plastic. I would, in other words, be piss-poor for the job. But we do need another admin - I've been aware of this for quite a long time. [violet] hardly shows up anymore and SalusaSecondus is always up to his ears with things needing done. Not to mention real life worries. The only reason I'd ever want to be an admin would be so I could fix the issue errors myself.

Anyway, here's ModShort #4 starring one of the admins we've already got - SalusaSecondus!

Happy Birthday, NationStates!

Of Novices And Spell-Checks

Euroslavia's beginning to grapple with the more technical side of issue editing now, and boy is he trying hard! But he'll have to try harder, as I only accept the best! Highest standard! Minimum error! Even when he thought he'd conquered the first option I pointed out six places he could improve on, and THAT'S how much this stuff has worked itself into my skull. But hey, he's not doing bad. I'm sure he'll be a fantastic editor by the end of this.

In other news, Salusa has introduced a spell-checker for UN proposals, telegrams, and regional message boards. Not that I need them of course (insert haughty sniff here), but I think it's a great idea. Though, as one person who telegrammed me pointed out, the button has been put in the position the 'send!' button used to have so force of habit means people will keep hitting the wrong switch! I'll have to mention that to Sal when I next bump into him.

Anyhoo, ciao for now.

Unfree People Retires

Unfree People, one of our forum mods, retired yesterday due to the pressures of that invasive beast 'real life'. But fear not, for she is not leaving us. She will still be around as a player, spreading her insight and wisdom throughout the forums.

In other news, I won Lancre Cup XII! Fantastic, no? I narrowly defeated Sliponia for the grand prize at an astonishing 8-7 win. The defenders must have been drunk or something...

Low On Elf

The nation of Menelmacar died yesterday out of inactivity. This would have been somewhat unremarkable usually, since nations are dying all the time sending billions of souls into the void everyday. Puts our troubles into context I suppose when we hear of how thousands are dying of ailments every week. In the same context I suppose I'm the mass-murdering madman of entire civilisations. Hmm. Maybe I should get a tie.

Anyway, what was so special about this one dying was the fact that Menelmacar is a moderator and is actually quite active for someone who should be dead. Menelmacar's more commonly known as Siri, short for Sirithil which is an Elvish name. Quite appropriate, since her country is ruled, and populated, by elves. Some would pin it down to coincidence, me, I think she did it on purpose. This is no time for speculation anyhow, as I'm sure you're wondering how her nation could have died from inactivity if she was so active. Well, before I relate the tale, I shall tell you one more thing which shall send shivers down your soul.

IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. [Cue Bach's Toccata in D minor]

Basically, your nation will automatically be deleted if you do not log into your nation for 28 days, 60 if you're on vacation mode. What the unfortunate Siri had done was this: she had not logged into her nation. She had instead being going directly to the forums and IRC channels. Her nation had slowly wasted away and before you can say "It will be a light for you in dark places", it had gone into the fiery abysses of Sal's wastepaper basket. As soon as she found out what had happened, Siri restored it of course but it was a dreadful reminder of what can happen when you lose focus...

As for the other time it occured, that was when it happened to poor old TJ Hairball's nation. He didn't stand a chance, poor bugger. He is a forum mod after all.

The Jester's New Clothes

ModShort #3!

This was originally intended to be a parody of a popular fable, but I forgot while I was doing it. Ah well. At least I have learned one thing from this - PLAN YOUR MODSHORT. Maybe then I won't start writing a joke when I haven't thought of a punchline... anyway, do enjoy.

Disqualification

Well, damn it. I am definitely NOT going to be able to complete the challenge I set myself about a week ago to complete three issues by the 5th of Novemeber. Fantastic, eh? I blame it on society. I have set myself a more realistic challenge now. I shall complete ONE issue by the 12th of November. It shall be mighty and stand above all other issues who will surely look and know their master. We can only hope.

Mod Olympics Again

Yes, that's right, Frisbeeteria officially has no life and is surely welded to his computer or something. I don't know how he manages it, I really don't. The sight of that measly three issues edited by myself was irritating though. I'm going to remedy that for the next olympics if I can. I got my usual fare of bronze medals which I suppose I'm happy about. I never really have that much enthusiasm for the Olympics to be honest, since the only one that interests me is the 'issues edited' section.

But, hey, congratulations to Fris, Kat, and all the other guys who put so much into keeping this game alive. I remember there was a time when the tasklist could rack up to hundreds of unresolved tasks because we simply didn't have the time. Now I look in and it's usually barely more than two pages and rapidly diminishing. 'Tis a golden age in NS player service. Gives me more time to edit issues too!

In other news, I am ill. I'd been feeling queasy yesterday, and had a headache like a music festival from far away. And then, last night, I was sick. It came on me so suddenly and without warning that half of it shot out my nose and ruined my favourite shirt. I Hope you feel all nice and grossed out now; it's not nearly half as bad as how I feel. Urgh.

Happy Halloween!

And Then Five Come Along At Once

Er... Um... It's kinda like this: just today, a life-changing thing (which I can't go into for personal reasons) just cropped up and I might not be able to fulfil the challenge I set myself in the last article. It's a bugger, I know, but I'm hoping it will all be resolved by the 31st and I'll be able to get at least one issue done. This is blatantly typical of how my life works and why deadlines are a real pain in the arse for me. It's as if Someone Up There is trying to turn everything I do into an obstacle course.

By the way, [violet] went and got herself a cool avatar. Check it out.

The Challenge

I'm going to try and get as many issues finished as I can next week as a challenge to myself. I've been so busy with real life that I haven't really been able to focus much on editing, and I still haven't got around to asking Sal to install the new code which is also something that bugs me. So to put a little ease to my professional pride, I'm going to try and get at least three issues completed by the 5th of November. It'll be tough, but I think I can do it if I concentrate hard and tie up my other responsibilities and arrangements.

Wish me luck!

The Old Days

ModShort #2!

This one's pretty much based on the fact that TJ is our senior forum mod and has been around forever. There's some nasty grammatical errors in there, for which I apologise. It was all a bit rushed, and my attempts to make TJ look like he was being illuminated by the campfire were crap.

Anyway. Enjoy!

My Brief Absence

I'm back! I forgot to tell anyone, but I've been away for the weekend in Fort William (again) where I had a lovely time. The Highlands in October is a beautiful sight. All those reds, oranges, and yellows were a worthy reminder that autumn has truly arrived. Now I've got a few hundred telegrams that have accumulated while I was away to mull over so bye-bye for now, take care, and remember, kidz, don't take drugs!

Such Attention Is Flattering

According to my counter, over 1000 people have looked at this blog since August. I personally find this rather hard to believe since hardly any of them leave comments. I'm still quite happy to have reached such a milestone, but I do hope that more people will be interested in reading this than right now - I would like all the effort I put into writing this stuff to be rewarded some time. Feel free to offer me money and expensive gifts at the usual address!

Recent Events

After having a peek at the Moderation forum recently (I don't actually look at the forums that much anymore) I noticed that there's been quite a hoo-hah over the deletion of a nation called Hogsweat. So I did a small investigation (i.e. asked what as happening) and discovered that he'd been deleted for ejecting everyone in his region. I was quite surprised to find everyone arguing about this because this rule has been in effect for longer than I can remember. Only founders can clear their regions. It is very strictly forbidden for delegates to do so. Otherwise we'd have nutters clearing regions left, right and centre (it's happened to Lancre once, I know about this with much bitterness). It's pretty much the definition of region griefing. But it's all over now, thankfully.

Kat was complaining about Jolt earlier so I made this wee animation to cheer her up. I hope you enjoy it too! I'm thinking of making a series of these for each Mod. I'm thinking of calling them 'Modshorts'. If I do go ahead with this, you can consider this one 'ModShort #1'.

Botheration

Looks like NationStates is down. AGAIN. I'd moan about Jolt if I didn't already know that this used to happen on a much more frequent basis in those old days when the server was powered by Sal's dead hamster. Ah well. We'll just have to wait until an admin tries to log in.

Avatars!

I was really pleased to discover today that NS mods can now give themselves avatars on the NS forums. Naturally I chose the awe-inspiring sight of the flightless hippo as my representation. Hack went for some kind of mysterious monk in yellow robes, Cog and Fris favoured the traditional Jennifer Government eye, Tsaraine chose what appears to be a nut with sunglasses, GMC and Kat both went for felinesque people, and Euroslavia selected, for some unknown reason, a picture of a chin with a word underneath it which I first took to say 'Penis'. As far as I'm aware none of the others have got avatars yet but it's only a matter of time until we see what they choose.

I'm willing to bet a not unreasonable amount of money that Reppy's will involve yellow armour and a very big sword...!

The Way Is Barred

Hmm, an arcane little message keeps appearing whenever I try to get into the forums using NationStates. Most curious. In case it's happening to anyone else, and if that 'anyone else' should by happy coincidence pertain to you, you can access the NS forums by using this link:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=1235

Ah, the joys of hypertext.

By the way, I got the videos of 'The Legends of Treasure Island' the other day so I'm very happy and I can finally stop bleating on about it to people who neither know nor care about the programme (i.e. everyone but me. Even my closest friends who remember it think I'm a bit potty for having tried to track it down for the last four months...)

I Want Some Company

You know. For those long lonely nights where I'm just lying in bed with nothing to do. It's not so bad I suppose, I've always got Rebecca... or Carrie... or Frankenstein... and before this silly prevarication continues any further I'll just point out that by 'Company' I mean Max Barry's new book. As long-suffering moderators, we've all been hoping (read: asking, hinting, threatening) that we'd get signed advanced copies of this book as payment for our years (or in the newbies' cases, months) of hard, unpaid labouring over NationStates. We don't know if we will, and it's clear that Max has got other things on his mind, but we'd have thought we'd at least get a snifter before some mystery bloke called Jason got to it. Haven't we cracked our bones long enough?

But I'm not bitter. Just hopeful (meaningful pause) that we will get at least a free copy. Not too much to ask, and I don't ask for many things apart from substantial changes to the issues code, money, sexual favours, etc.

Wait, did I say that last bit out loud?

Issues Discussion Channel

Euroslavia had the idea of setting up an IRC channel devoted to the discussion of NationStates daily issues and I'll be there, when I can, to accept your accurate, constructive praise and worship or, if 'tis even possible, your incredibly mistaken and unfair abuse and vitriolic ramblings. I can also advise you on writing issues, or give you ideas for ones if you're stuck. You can visit the channel at #nationstates_issues on the Espernet server.

If you need more help understanding this whole IRC thing, have a shufti at Reploid Productions' thread on the subject here: http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=278619

First Critique

Euroslavia showed me his first efforts at issue editing today, his cheeks gleaming with pride, his eyes sparking with anticipation, and his grin positively beaming with youth and vigour. Ah, I felt so guilty having to bring him down to the ground as I totally butchered his work with my onslaught of vicious jibes and insults. He hasn't dared to try writing the code yet, but I'm sure he'll master it soon enough.

Still, even after having two options vetoed, the whole structure rearranged, and being ordered to rewrite everything he's still as eager as a beaver in a pine forest so I'm hopeful that he'll turn out something much improved next time. Indeed, I'm sure of it!

Future Prospects

In two weeks I'll have been a moderator of NationStates for a whole two years. This is quite frightning really, because previously I had always managed to hold fast to the idea that I can quit anytime... anytime I like! But I am beginning to wonder. A lot of things are changing in my life and NationStates has slowly been sinking lower and lower as a route of escapism. Even the issue-editing doesn't have that golden glow of excitment for me anymore though I do still enjoy it very much. But it's been a long time since I've been able to put one in the game. I'll have to talk to Salusa about that...

But hey. I don't plan to retire for a while yet, and I do at least want to pass the 200-issues mark! That'd be a fine thing. But for now I'm just bored. We'll see how things go.

Of Zeroes And Heroes

There is absolutely nothing to report on the NationStates front right now, unless you wanted a list of things we'd forgotten about (with the obvious exceptions of the task- and issue-list). But nevermind.

At least I managed to order the complete second season of The Legends of Treasure Island! Yar, me mateys, that I did. As a favour to the guy (the hero in the title - words cannot describe how grateful I am) who's done this for me, I'd ask anyone who reads this to contact me if they've copied any episodes of two old TV series this guy's a-hankerin' after: 'The Dreamstone' and 'Bravestarr'.

Anyway, toodles for now.

Lancre Cup XII

Once again, it's time for more zany Lancre football, and also, once again, we have a new organiser. Yesnono has bravely taken up the job of working out everyone's scores, writing up match reviews, keeping everyone interested et cetera and I says good luck to her. It's a tough job, and it needs a tough mind to control it or you'll just flop forward with your tongue rolling out.

So yeah, if you want to know more, check out the thread here: http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?topic=445504

Cartography

If there's one thing that I know NationStaters would give their right arms for, it would be decent maps. Well, actually they'd probably prefer war, trade, allegiances, and more descriptive control of their nations, but if you asked them if they'd like good maps, I'm willing to wager they'd give a resounding 'yes'. Or 'aye'. Or 'whatever'. Or maybe just 'I'd prefer war, trade, allegiances, and more descriptive control of my nations'. They're a mixed bunch, NSers.

Anyway, I'm just going to tell you that there is a great way you can make a map of your nation or region (only an idiot would try to make one for the whole NS world) and even make photorealistic shots of it (and not just from an eagle-eye point of view either!) and make all your friends go 'ooh' and 'aah' as you show off the great mountain range of Silly Sausage, or the blue rippling waters of Loch Dead Baby. Good taste is optional when it comes to naming these things.

But how do you all this? With Terragen of course! I mentioned this very briefly a few months back I think, but it really is too good a program to ignore. My region Lancre used Terragen and we had the images on our website until it was sadly disabled by server trouble.

If you really want to impress people with your up-and-coming region, or you're just a delegate or founder looking for a new way to improve the morale, or maybe you've got an NS friend with a birthday approaching (or maybe you're just bored and like maps), give it a shot. You won't be sorry.

Oh, and it's free! Have fun!

Another Milestone

We've just passed a massive forty thousand tasks in toto reviewed by the mods. Phew. Makes me wonder whether the others have been getting any sleep at night. I know Fris hasn't - he's been demolishing the list with almost inhuman consistency and I think he's just trying to make the rest of us look bad. Damn you, Frisbeeteria, and your wily games!

Lake District And Yorkshire

Yes, I have returned from my four-day trip to England. I would have written about it on Monday, but I couldn't be arsed.

Anyway, did I enjoy myself? Yes, I do believe I did! On the first day I visited the White Scar cave near Ingleton and it was pretty amazing. I did keep bashing my head against the ceiling though, and there were some passages where you have to bend double to get through. It was one of the few occasions where I was happy being just five foot ten!

I also went to Malham Cove and admired it muchly. There was not a chance in Hell I was going near the edge though. Just seeing another visitor looking over the side gave me the jellies. Brr. As if Watloe's Valley hadn't been bad enough.

I stayed at a hostel in Grasmere which was all very well and good, it was very comfortable and such, until I suddenly got food poisoning on the last day from a suspect vegetable bolognese. Ooh, God, it was horrible. I was shivering, hacking, and sneezing all the way home. Ah well. Can't win 'em all.

Trip To England

I'm going on a three day trip down to the Lake District and Yorkshire, England, starting today. So I won't be back until Sunday. I'll be visiting Limestone caves, taking a good look at the surrounding karstic scenery, and, I suppose, be enjoying myself.

So, be back soon. I won't have any pictures, so you'll just have to endure my graphic detail. Ah, well. See you later.

Fresh Blood

I've got some good news for those wanting more issues - I've started teaching Euroslavia, one of our forum mods, the basic methods of editing issues. I don't want to get into the complicated stuff to quickly or his head will implode and I'll have to find someone else to bully and cajole.

The system works like this:

1. Give the mod a choice of three issues to edit, each sealed in a golden envelope. Once the mod chooses one, I strap him into a chair and the torture begins.

2. I give the mod some basic directions on how to edit (this took me the best part of two hours with Euro, but there's a lot you need to know!) and telegrammed him a copy of the issue (with a few preliminary edits by me to prevent code warping the editor screen - sometimes just one misplaced bracket can have bizarre effects like enlarging all the text and turning it orange). He then edits it to the best of his ability and telegrams it back to me.

3. I send the issue back pointing out all the things he did wrong, things he did right, and things he has yet to do. He edits and sends back.

4. I point out some more stuff, make suggestions, give him some casual verbal abuse, and send it back.

5. Wash, rinse and repeat.

6. Finally, when I'm satisfied, I give the whole issue a do-over, show Euro what I did and explain it, and then put the issue in the game. The issue will not acknowledge the mod as the co-editor, but I do record it. I'll mention it in this blog, too.

I won't be able to put any issues into the game just yet of course. Not until the new code's been installed.

I'm vaguely aware that Euroslavia's been looking forward to the whole issue-editing process, so we should be able to expect a lot of output from him, which is fantastic. We'll be over the 200 issues mark in no time!

Busy Busy Busy

You may be wondering where the Hell I've been recently. Well, it's quite simple. I've been busy. Very busy in fact. I've had little time to visit NationStates, and haven't been able to do any editing at all. I feel strung out and tired, and if that wasn't bad enough I've got a Radiohead song called 'I Froze Up' stuck in my head. It keeps going round and round and repeating like a zoetrope. It's a beautiful song, but quite frankly it's turning my brain into cottage cheese.

I hope I might be able to get more things done next weekend. Build up a bunch of completed issues (though recently it's becoming more and more of a chore to concentrate myself on doing these things).

And, dammit, I've got to accompany (on piano) a violinist who's a friend of mine. The song's 'Fix You' by Coldplay which has a mercifully slow and easy accompaniment so it shouldn't be too bad. Complicated and fast accompaniments are the devil's craft and it can take ages to master them properly if you're not totally at home with this most treacherous of arts. But hey, I'm learning.

Everyday, and in every way, I'm getting better. And a tad more sleep-deprived.

Somnolence

Nothing new. I feel sleepy. Progress on new issues up to speed. Asked Sal about the new issue code. He said 'later'. Scotland beat Norway. Good. Northern Ireland beat England. Also good, in a totally non-sectarian way.

But mostly, I just want to sleep. Wake me up if anything interesting happens.

Issue Ideas

If you're stuck for inspiration, here's some ideas we don't have issues on yet:

Gay adoption
Terrorism (GOOD terrorism issues. I've seen plenty of issues on terrorism, but they've all been absolutely terrible - think carefully about how you structure this issue)
Military coup (again, think carefully about how you do this one)
Public transport strikes (bus drivers? Airline workers?)
Nuclear meltdown
Coastal erosion
Lack of healthcare
Territory expansion (someone claiming part of your land, or your claiming of theirs, either will do)

There's an infinite number of other ideas if none of these appeal to you. All you have do is look!

Rallentando

Well, there's still no news on the new issue code, or anything yet. Not even the new UN proposal categories I mentioned ages ago. News of any kind seems to be coming to a gradual halt. I haven't received many new e-mails or comments in ages, and even my usual flow of telegrams has dropped a bit.

All very mysterious.

Maybe I should heckle Salusa some more.

X Marks The Spot

You may remember that I mentioned a while back that I was having problems finding episodes of an old TV series called The Legends of Treasure Island. Well, I'm pleased to say that I managed to purchase a video set with all the episodes from the first season on it! It took a while of searching, but it seems that the series must have been bought by an Australian TV channel at some point. I don't know if they ever put the second (and final) season onto video but I'd very much like to find out!

Thankfully, I do have the episode where they actually find the treasure on an old video, so I won't be too horribly frustrated if I never get these episodes. It's a shame I don't have the very last episode, but I can remember what happens so ah well.

Poor old Captain Smollett, he never deserved what happened to him.

It's A Girl!

What better way to celebrate your hundredth blog article than to also celebrate the arrival of new life? Max Barry has just hit fatherhood, and I can't express how very happy I am for him! A big congratulations and much well-wishing for him and Jennifer, I know they'll be stellar parents. You can see Max's blog on the subject here: http://www.maxbarry.com/2005/08/30/news.html#finlay.

Sirroco, The Bastard Moderator From Hell

A long time ago, Reppy created a thread where mods could expound their frustrations and neuroses with fictional writing. A thread Where we could do all the mean nasty things we'd never do in real life (or don't we...?) and where we could take the piss out of anything we liked. It was great fun, and has proved enormously popular with the members of the forum. I don't really have much to write about because, of course, I mostly deal with daily issues, and there's not much malice you can inflict on people with issues. Chaos and destruction, yes, but not much malice.

Anyway, I decided to give it a shot anyway, and submitted my contribution to the new thread here (don't worry about missing any, the first thread is linked in the first post): http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=384991.

If you're wondering why my bastard moniker is 'Sirroco', it goes way back to when I used to complain loudly that people always spelled 'Sirocco' wrong. In retaliation people started calling me Sirroco, Siroco, Siraco, (or even in extreme cases Sirccocoocococo) and other such variants. Ah, irony, it gets you everytime.

After The Storm

Well, everything's fixed now. Looks like it's gonna be a happy ending! Just a few minor niggles to fix and then we'll be back on the road to reliable servers. Not that NationStates has ever had a particularly good record in this regard!

Worry Ye Not, Help Is On The Way

People trying to log into NationStates will notice that the site is throwing up a hell of a lot of weird stuff and that you can't create a nation. This because we've run out of disc space again, which is pretty bewildering I know as I thought it had been fixed. But it looks like it got botched. Ah well.

But the simple message here is to NOT WORRY. We have everything in hand. As soon as Sal or the boss get the time to do anything, everyone's nation will be restored to the last time we backed our files up. What will this mean? Well, there will be a population drop, and any changes to your nation and all the issues you answered will have been undone. That's because your nation stats will revert to our backup file (don't panic though - it won't have been too long ago!).

It's advisable not to log into your nation as doing so kills it (as I found out after I'd attempted to log in about ten times...), but if you have already it doesn't matter, it'll be fixed soon.

Though the game is down, the forums are not, so you can still enjoy yourself sharing your disbelief at what's happened with others.

Here's some amusing threads I've noticed to help you pass the time:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=436151
http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=440356
http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=440313
http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=435859

Edit: looks like some things have been cleared up before I could finish writing this...

Earlier today (26 August 2005) our server experienced some data corruption, and the game is offline while we fix this. The fix will probably require restoring from a backup. We do not have an estimate for how long this will take nor when the backups will be from. I promise a status update by 7pm PST. (Unfortunately, I can't take the day off from work to fix this.)

Restoring from backup means, unfortunately, that all nations and regions will lose any changes made in the last 20 hours.

Any status updates will be posted to this page. Thank you for your patience.

Things will be fine. Have no fear! I'm just glad I didn't put any issues into the game in the last twenty hours. That would have been incredibly annoying...

Chinwagging With Karma

Today, I downloaded the latest wonder in communication that is Google Talk at the behest of Karmabaijan. And it's quite frankly amazing. Today I had my first international call (not including ones which have been routed through India and the like) and it was FREE. ALL FREE! Which I considered quite fine and dandy. One of the other things that I was happy about was the fact that I could clearly hear what Karma was saying. I was half-expecting to hear a static-garbled mess, like what you get from cheap walkie-talkies.

However, the experience was not without its drawbacks.

First of all, you need a microphone to be able to talk to someone. Otherwise, as it was with me and Karm, you're just listening to the other guy breathing like an ominous shadowy man in an alley. I did eventually find a microphone which had laid dormant in an old box for the last two years but when I put it in it didn't work. I haven't figured out why yet, but I'm optimistic. I'm positive it's in the right port. It was the little picture of a microphone next to it that supplied the clue.

So, as for the actual chat, you wouldn't be interested. Most of it was just Karm coaxing me on and puzzling about feedback while I frowned at the computer screen a lot.

Only those with a gmail account can use Google Talk, so if you want to be able to use it and don't have one feel free to e-mail me. I've got 50 invitations I've never used; I might as well put them to good use.

Oh, and by the way, Karma's got a really creepy laugh. Brrr...

New Issue Under Construction

But it's a total secret! It's quite a bit different from many other issues, so I'm still puzzling on how to use it. Should be a blast, anyway.

If you're looking for something to read, check out this blog: http://tnpblogger.blogspot.com/. It's an interesting insight into the strange power-struggles and debates that make up the Pacific regions. This is only for The North Pacific, but that's not too bad because it's the most interesting one politically.

One Square Forward

I learnt last night that [violet] had forwarded my issue-code to SalusaSecondus who said "If I get bored and remember I may do it". May not sound like much, but it is promising and it looks like we may have the new features in much sooner than I expected!

Still on the subject of issues, I noticed a rather interesting idea for an issue in a thread here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=439362. We could do with more issues on gambling, and this is a good premise. The arguments are a bit thin, but hey, nothing's perfect.

The Siroc & Newsted Saga has started again after another lengthy interval of silence. You can view it here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=280357.

And last, but not least, I have drawn a picture of a flightless hippo using Microsoft Paint here: http://img376.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sirocco9sz.jpg. Why did I do this? Because apparently the people doing the musical I mentioned in a previous blog want to turn it into an animation. Pretty cool, huh? With any luck we'll see this monstrosi- ah- delightful image I've constructed shuckin' and jivin' on our computer screens some day representing yours truly.

Hmm. I should have made the wings white.

Stockpiling

Still no news about the new issue code, but I'm not too surprised. I'm going to get busy editing new issues so that I have plenty to put into the game when I'm given the all-clear.

And... that's all I have to report really. Same old, same old.

Everyone Loves Feedback

I was a little bored, so I made a *coughhackcough* 'animation' about the NationStates musical that the Generalites are making. It's based on a conversation between myself, Melkor, and Euroslavia. Why did I give Euro a long Dumbledore nose and green hair? Who knows. Maybe when the universe comes to its roaring, apocalyptic ending there will be an answer.

And yeah, I couldn't draw Melkor's helmet.

And, damn it, I've just realised that people wondering where Sirocco's other paw is will also wonder why Euro looks so deliriously happy. Oh dear me, it's one of those days isn't it?

Numbers

People may have noticed that I have placed a discreet counter at the bottom of the blog. I did this because I wanted to get a general idea of just how many people read this thing. At the time of writing I have noticed that seventy-one people have visited this blog over the last four days. This is clearly not enough and must be dealt with or I'll feel like I've been wasting my time! So, yeah, tell people who might be sufficiently interested in NationStates to read this to, well... read this. Then I might feel a bit happier about having spent five minutes rambling away about things that no-one cares about.

The Show Must Go On

I'm back. Now that I'm over the initial shock of my sister's death, I'm glad that there's been an ending to this and that she's not suffering anymore. The funeral's on Thursday.

NationStates-wise, quite a lot has been happening. The Generalites have decided to write a musical dedicated to NationStates, and I think it's a brilliant idea! I even set some lyrics written by someone called 'The Noble Men' to music and submitted it to the overseers of the project. The lyrics seem to describe me as a forum mod which is odd because I rarely post on the forums these days. I spend most of my time doing issues stuff and tidying up the tasklist.

You can see/hear the song here: Sirocco, Sirocco!

You'll need this free computer program to see/hear the music: Finale Notepad

The musical is being written mostly (though probably solely) by regulars of the General forum and as such it mostly concerns the General forum and its inhabitants. I haven't actually read the script, but I couldn't help noticing that my name pops up quite frequently. Often with bewilderingly inexplicable context:

Sirocco: What about me? I have been here longer than you, how do you think I feel? I can't go back to telemarketing, that was so dreadfully boring.

and:

cut to a shot of Sirocco in a container in the troll fortress. There are other trolls playing cards with him.

It is a musical of course, and where would the world be if we could understand muscials? It's a tradition that they should be odd. I can't help but feel slightly misrepresented there, but then it doesn't look like characterisation is exactly the forte of those writing this. I don't think Cogitation would ever say "Hey, asss goblin, I tried, it's not my fault they swarmed us, I didn't start the fight." I can't recall Cog ever using foul language, and even if he did I doubt he'd choose to call someone an 'ass goblin'. Brings up terrible images and brings a whole new meaning to the term 'troglodyte'.

But all in all, I'm optimistic because once again it shows the exciting potential of the broad canvas that NationStates supplies. You can check out the official forum these guys have made for the musical here: Click here.

In other news, there has been a reaffirming of our policy on what constitutes an offensive flag. You can check that out here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=438053

No news yet about the issue edits. But the admins have got enough on their plate already without me tugging their sleeves and complaining that nothing's happened to it.

Phew! What a lot of links! I hope those reading this article have much patience!

Antonia Chalmers

This morning, at about 2 o' clock, my half-sister, Antonia Marie Chalmers, died after a long, long fight with Hughes' Syndrome. Peacefully, in her sleep. She was originally diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis because the two ailments are so similar and I beg anyone who has been diagnosed with this dreadful thing to please get tested for Hughes' Syndrome as it can be identified with a simple blood test and is easily curable if noted early on.

Please visit http://www.hughes-syndrome.org/ and raise awareness about this disease.

Three years ago she was as compis mentis as you or I, but as things wore on, she lost the ability to think clearly, walk, talk, until eventually she couldn't even recognise her own family. It was unbearable to witness, but now I'm glad she's at peace and maybe in Heaven she'll be able to walk and see her father again.

Toni was a lovely woman, and one of the most humane and empathetic people I'll ever know. She was always talented too, she had perfect pitch and I remember that guitarists could tune their instruments to her voice. It makes me feel bitter that the doctors wouldn't listen to us when we claimed she had Hughes' Syndrome and stuck to their diagnosis like politicians defending their decision to send hundreds of troops to their death. Even when we pointed out that she had memory loss which is highly indicative of Hughes' Syndrome and not MS. Maybe she could have been saved, and maybe she could not have. It all seems oddly irrelvant now.

With all my love, I hope she has gone to a better place and I will never forget her.

Antonia Marie Chalmers, may she rest in peace: (3/9/75 - 13/8/05)

In NationStates-related news, the issue code has been sent to admin for installation, and I hope you all enjoy it very much. I may not be around for some time.

Final Hurdles

I'm nearly finished doing my grand issue-editing campaign. Once it's all done, I'll send it to one of the admins to install and you'll be able to see what I've been labouring over for the last two weeks. Well, some of you might. Well, probably no-one will unless I can also get the boss to install something else which is hush-hush right now. You'll know it when you see it, but you might not for quite a while.

I don't know how long it'll take for admin to put in the new code. It might take ages and it might take just a few days. Time will tell. Or maybe it won't. Time doesn't make promises.

Butch Blog

I just read Max Barry's Blog about a computer program that analyses text to work out whether the writer was a man or a woman. Well, naturally I tried a number of my blogs, and it seems that my writings are brimming with testosterone. Not one effeminate article could I find. After the initial relief and smugness I wondered if maybe this program was entirely efficient. For instance, it says that the use of the word 'the' is an essentially male attribute, but how can it be? 'The' is the most commonly used word in the language! Writing something and not using it is like trying to drink soup with your elbows. It's clumsy, takes a long time, and makes you look silly. Nevertheless, I was intrigued, so I tried out Reppy's and Euroslavia's blogs (see the links in the sidebar) to see if it matched up with them too. Things did not go entirely as I expected. It seems that Reppy's got a manly touch when it comes to writing blogs, while Euroslavia's practically decorating his efforts with lace, flowers, and impossibly small, cute dogs with pink collars.

We mods are a crazy bunch.

This Is Your Brain On NationStates

As much as I've added to NationStates and changed things around, I'm steadily becoming more and more aware that it's changing me a little too. Whenever I read an article in the newspaper I think "that could make a good NS issue" and it took the MaxChat (see the previous blog) for me to realise this because Max Barry said he does the same thing. Now I come to think of it, there's lots of things that fire off certain neurons in my NS-addled brain. When someone talks about military helicopters a tiny voice in my head talks about moving nations. Should someone mention a 'new order', I think about the Pacific. Simple, innocent terms such as 'Lazarus' or 'nation-states' simply put my mind down different tracks. I once misread the 'mixed berry crumble' option in a menu as 'Max Barry crumble'. That's how bad things have got.

Maybe one day, us NSers will be able to recognise each other from across the street. A certain slouch in the back. A more cynical outlook on political matters. A whimsical approach to taxes. A slight quiver to their frames should the sight of a man running down the street be wearing Nikes. The urge to write down 'Myrth' in the 'other - please specify' box in any survey. Well, maybe you wouldn't see that last one but the point is that we have been MARKED and we are doomed to forever associate cannon with stupidity and to accidentally spell the word 'nuke' with two zeroes.

There is no cure, and we will die, bringing these things to our graves which we'll probably have made into burgers because that's what we chose in that issue, 'A Grave Problem'. Is this truly terrible? I don't think so. It makes us special because these are connotations that belong to us. Our own little in-jokes that no-one else will ever understand nor sympathise with. But there is one thing for certain. No way am I having a man at my funeral saying "He didn't die... he just ceased to exist."

MaxChat 4 Log

Here be the log of MaxChat 4: Beyond Thunderdome. Enjoy!

A Roaring Success

That MaxChat went well! I think it may have been the longest one yet, too! There should be a tidied-up log in the News page soon, and I'll link to that here when it appears. Until then, take a look at this: Funny April Fool's Day Tasks. This came up during the Chat, and I thought: why not? Let them read it. It'll be a laugh.

MaxChat 4: Beyond Thunderdome

Yep, it's that time again! Max Barry will be visiting the IRC channel #nationstates today and answering your questions! You can find out what time to log into IRC in your timezone here: Maxchat in your time.

The chat will be held on the IRC server irc.esper.net, in the channel #nationstates. If you'd like to ask a question, join the #nationstates_QA channel as well. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can discover the wonderful world of internet chat via this IRC primer.

You can see the logs of previous MaxChats here:

MaxChat
MaxChat 2
MaxChat 3: The Reckoning

I wanted to call the latest one 'MaxChat 4: Beyond Thunderdome', but I don't think it's going to happen! The MaxChat will be at midnight in my time, so I may not be there, but I'll certainly attempt it. Be there or be... rhomboid... I dunno...

EDIT: it got called Beyond Thunderdome after all! Yay me!

Getting There

At the time of writing, I am up to issue #63 in my editing campaign. The slow progress is partly due to the complexity of the new code, but it's also due to the fact that I keep on finding other things needing changed in the issues. The occasional typo. A missing comma. Sometimes I find some faulty code which needs corrected, like when I discovered that nations that had banned computers could still be attacked by sentient computer viruses. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure that no artificial intelligence would be THAT good.

But anyway, things are going smoothly. If I know Reppy like I think I know her, then she's busy polishing up a lot of issues ready for putting in the game as soon as I've given the all-clear and we'll have plenty of new ones to keep you interested.

Ain't that nice?

More Fun With Anagrams

More NationStates-related anagrams:

Issue Submission: Simious business.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if half of the ones I look at WERE part of some experiment with monkeys and typewriters...

Sirithil of Menelmacar: Nice, flashier immortal.

Even in anagram form, she's got all sides taken care of. Elvish womenfolk are the height of vanity!

Nominate a NationStates Mod: To emotion and neat Satanism!

Yes. All new mods must sacrifice a chicken before dispensing all their secrets to our resident two-headed goat. It stinks, but there you have it. You're sending these guys to Hell! Literally!

The Mod Centre: Hot, red cement.

Damn Max and his cutting back on the interior decoration budget.

Company: A novel by Max Barry: My capable, bonny Marx ovary.

We all knew it was about communism! And reliability and beauty! And... reproductive organs...

Euroslavia: I've arousal.

Moving on.

Catherine Gratwick: A creaking twitcher.

Is it another clue?! Or is it just a red herring? Is she really a ninety year-old birdwatcher? Who knows...?

New Forum Mod!

After much discussion, it was decided to promote Euroslavia to the position of NationStates forum mod. Any regular forumer is likely to have heard of him as he is a very big name in the select group of 'people who write threads that become stickies'. I myself have a few to my name, but they're almost all in the 'Got Issues?' forum.

I'm positive that he's going to be a smashing mod and a valuable asset to the forums.

Bravo!

Fort William

I'm back from my holiday in the Highlands and it was great! Except for the fact that the car broke down on the way back and I needed to get towed for the remaining fifty miles back home. But ah well. Waiting for one and a half hours on the M9 is a lot less interesting than some people think.

The scenery was beautiful. When I looked at Ben Nevis (which I've been to the top of before, actually), I was fully aware that this was the biggest thing I'd ever seen, excepting obvious technicalites like the Earth, stars, and Michael Winner's nose. Mount Everest is approximately seven times taller and when I tried to imagine that, my brain just waved a little white flag and made me notice that there was a cloud that looked exactly like a platypus (I swear).

I stayed at the Ben Nevis hotel and Leisure Centre. It was OK, but there was no shower, the wardrobe wouldn't open, the Games room was 'out of order' (or so the sign claimed), and the other tenants looked like shuffling zombies at breakfast time. But I expect that couldn't be helped.

The real point of the trip was to the scenery. Look at the mountains. Breathe that clean air (which was remarkably short of midgies to my delight). I went on a steam train ride from Fort William to Mallaig, rode over the Glenfinnian Viaduct (which Harry Potter fans will know was a filming location for at least two of the films. The train I was in was actually the one used for the 'Hogwarts Express' too.) and went on a boat cruise to see a small rocky island covered in seals. I also went to an Indian restaurant in Aberfeldy which I must recommend!

Anyway, I'm back now, and I'm going to be getting on with the new code as soon as possible. Ciao!