It's A Girl!

What better way to celebrate your hundredth blog article than to also celebrate the arrival of new life? Max Barry has just hit fatherhood, and I can't express how very happy I am for him! A big congratulations and much well-wishing for him and Jennifer, I know they'll be stellar parents. You can see Max's blog on the subject here: http://www.maxbarry.com/2005/08/30/news.html#finlay.

Sirroco, The Bastard Moderator From Hell

A long time ago, Reppy created a thread where mods could expound their frustrations and neuroses with fictional writing. A thread Where we could do all the mean nasty things we'd never do in real life (or don't we...?) and where we could take the piss out of anything we liked. It was great fun, and has proved enormously popular with the members of the forum. I don't really have much to write about because, of course, I mostly deal with daily issues, and there's not much malice you can inflict on people with issues. Chaos and destruction, yes, but not much malice.

Anyway, I decided to give it a shot anyway, and submitted my contribution to the new thread here (don't worry about missing any, the first thread is linked in the first post): http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=384991.

If you're wondering why my bastard moniker is 'Sirroco', it goes way back to when I used to complain loudly that people always spelled 'Sirocco' wrong. In retaliation people started calling me Sirroco, Siroco, Siraco, (or even in extreme cases Sirccocoocococo) and other such variants. Ah, irony, it gets you everytime.

After The Storm

Well, everything's fixed now. Looks like it's gonna be a happy ending! Just a few minor niggles to fix and then we'll be back on the road to reliable servers. Not that NationStates has ever had a particularly good record in this regard!

Worry Ye Not, Help Is On The Way

People trying to log into NationStates will notice that the site is throwing up a hell of a lot of weird stuff and that you can't create a nation. This because we've run out of disc space again, which is pretty bewildering I know as I thought it had been fixed. But it looks like it got botched. Ah well.

But the simple message here is to NOT WORRY. We have everything in hand. As soon as Sal or the boss get the time to do anything, everyone's nation will be restored to the last time we backed our files up. What will this mean? Well, there will be a population drop, and any changes to your nation and all the issues you answered will have been undone. That's because your nation stats will revert to our backup file (don't panic though - it won't have been too long ago!).

It's advisable not to log into your nation as doing so kills it (as I found out after I'd attempted to log in about ten times...), but if you have already it doesn't matter, it'll be fixed soon.

Though the game is down, the forums are not, so you can still enjoy yourself sharing your disbelief at what's happened with others.

Here's some amusing threads I've noticed to help you pass the time:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=436151
http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=440356
http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=440313
http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=435859

Edit: looks like some things have been cleared up before I could finish writing this...

Earlier today (26 August 2005) our server experienced some data corruption, and the game is offline while we fix this. The fix will probably require restoring from a backup. We do not have an estimate for how long this will take nor when the backups will be from. I promise a status update by 7pm PST. (Unfortunately, I can't take the day off from work to fix this.)

Restoring from backup means, unfortunately, that all nations and regions will lose any changes made in the last 20 hours.

Any status updates will be posted to this page. Thank you for your patience.

Things will be fine. Have no fear! I'm just glad I didn't put any issues into the game in the last twenty hours. That would have been incredibly annoying...

Chinwagging With Karma

Today, I downloaded the latest wonder in communication that is Google Talk at the behest of Karmabaijan. And it's quite frankly amazing. Today I had my first international call (not including ones which have been routed through India and the like) and it was FREE. ALL FREE! Which I considered quite fine and dandy. One of the other things that I was happy about was the fact that I could clearly hear what Karma was saying. I was half-expecting to hear a static-garbled mess, like what you get from cheap walkie-talkies.

However, the experience was not without its drawbacks.

First of all, you need a microphone to be able to talk to someone. Otherwise, as it was with me and Karm, you're just listening to the other guy breathing like an ominous shadowy man in an alley. I did eventually find a microphone which had laid dormant in an old box for the last two years but when I put it in it didn't work. I haven't figured out why yet, but I'm optimistic. I'm positive it's in the right port. It was the little picture of a microphone next to it that supplied the clue.

So, as for the actual chat, you wouldn't be interested. Most of it was just Karm coaxing me on and puzzling about feedback while I frowned at the computer screen a lot.

Only those with a gmail account can use Google Talk, so if you want to be able to use it and don't have one feel free to e-mail me. I've got 50 invitations I've never used; I might as well put them to good use.

Oh, and by the way, Karma's got a really creepy laugh. Brrr...

New Issue Under Construction

But it's a total secret! It's quite a bit different from many other issues, so I'm still puzzling on how to use it. Should be a blast, anyway.

If you're looking for something to read, check out this blog: http://tnpblogger.blogspot.com/. It's an interesting insight into the strange power-struggles and debates that make up the Pacific regions. This is only for The North Pacific, but that's not too bad because it's the most interesting one politically.

One Square Forward

I learnt last night that [violet] had forwarded my issue-code to SalusaSecondus who said "If I get bored and remember I may do it". May not sound like much, but it is promising and it looks like we may have the new features in much sooner than I expected!

Still on the subject of issues, I noticed a rather interesting idea for an issue in a thread here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=439362. We could do with more issues on gambling, and this is a good premise. The arguments are a bit thin, but hey, nothing's perfect.

The Siroc & Newsted Saga has started again after another lengthy interval of silence. You can view it here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=280357.

And last, but not least, I have drawn a picture of a flightless hippo using Microsoft Paint here: http://img376.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sirocco9sz.jpg. Why did I do this? Because apparently the people doing the musical I mentioned in a previous blog want to turn it into an animation. Pretty cool, huh? With any luck we'll see this monstrosi- ah- delightful image I've constructed shuckin' and jivin' on our computer screens some day representing yours truly.

Hmm. I should have made the wings white.

Stockpiling

Still no news about the new issue code, but I'm not too surprised. I'm going to get busy editing new issues so that I have plenty to put into the game when I'm given the all-clear.

And... that's all I have to report really. Same old, same old.

Everyone Loves Feedback

I was a little bored, so I made a *coughhackcough* 'animation' about the NationStates musical that the Generalites are making. It's based on a conversation between myself, Melkor, and Euroslavia. Why did I give Euro a long Dumbledore nose and green hair? Who knows. Maybe when the universe comes to its roaring, apocalyptic ending there will be an answer.

And yeah, I couldn't draw Melkor's helmet.

And, damn it, I've just realised that people wondering where Sirocco's other paw is will also wonder why Euro looks so deliriously happy. Oh dear me, it's one of those days isn't it?

Numbers

People may have noticed that I have placed a discreet counter at the bottom of the blog. I did this because I wanted to get a general idea of just how many people read this thing. At the time of writing I have noticed that seventy-one people have visited this blog over the last four days. This is clearly not enough and must be dealt with or I'll feel like I've been wasting my time! So, yeah, tell people who might be sufficiently interested in NationStates to read this to, well... read this. Then I might feel a bit happier about having spent five minutes rambling away about things that no-one cares about.

The Show Must Go On

I'm back. Now that I'm over the initial shock of my sister's death, I'm glad that there's been an ending to this and that she's not suffering anymore. The funeral's on Thursday.

NationStates-wise, quite a lot has been happening. The Generalites have decided to write a musical dedicated to NationStates, and I think it's a brilliant idea! I even set some lyrics written by someone called 'The Noble Men' to music and submitted it to the overseers of the project. The lyrics seem to describe me as a forum mod which is odd because I rarely post on the forums these days. I spend most of my time doing issues stuff and tidying up the tasklist.

You can see/hear the song here: Sirocco, Sirocco!

You'll need this free computer program to see/hear the music: Finale Notepad

The musical is being written mostly (though probably solely) by regulars of the General forum and as such it mostly concerns the General forum and its inhabitants. I haven't actually read the script, but I couldn't help noticing that my name pops up quite frequently. Often with bewilderingly inexplicable context:

Sirocco: What about me? I have been here longer than you, how do you think I feel? I can't go back to telemarketing, that was so dreadfully boring.

and:

cut to a shot of Sirocco in a container in the troll fortress. There are other trolls playing cards with him.

It is a musical of course, and where would the world be if we could understand muscials? It's a tradition that they should be odd. I can't help but feel slightly misrepresented there, but then it doesn't look like characterisation is exactly the forte of those writing this. I don't think Cogitation would ever say "Hey, asss goblin, I tried, it's not my fault they swarmed us, I didn't start the fight." I can't recall Cog ever using foul language, and even if he did I doubt he'd choose to call someone an 'ass goblin'. Brings up terrible images and brings a whole new meaning to the term 'troglodyte'.

But all in all, I'm optimistic because once again it shows the exciting potential of the broad canvas that NationStates supplies. You can check out the official forum these guys have made for the musical here: Click here.

In other news, there has been a reaffirming of our policy on what constitutes an offensive flag. You can check that out here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=438053

No news yet about the issue edits. But the admins have got enough on their plate already without me tugging their sleeves and complaining that nothing's happened to it.

Phew! What a lot of links! I hope those reading this article have much patience!

Antonia Chalmers

This morning, at about 2 o' clock, my half-sister, Antonia Marie Chalmers, died after a long, long fight with Hughes' Syndrome. Peacefully, in her sleep. She was originally diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis because the two ailments are so similar and I beg anyone who has been diagnosed with this dreadful thing to please get tested for Hughes' Syndrome as it can be identified with a simple blood test and is easily curable if noted early on.

Please visit http://www.hughes-syndrome.org/ and raise awareness about this disease.

Three years ago she was as compis mentis as you or I, but as things wore on, she lost the ability to think clearly, walk, talk, until eventually she couldn't even recognise her own family. It was unbearable to witness, but now I'm glad she's at peace and maybe in Heaven she'll be able to walk and see her father again.

Toni was a lovely woman, and one of the most humane and empathetic people I'll ever know. She was always talented too, she had perfect pitch and I remember that guitarists could tune their instruments to her voice. It makes me feel bitter that the doctors wouldn't listen to us when we claimed she had Hughes' Syndrome and stuck to their diagnosis like politicians defending their decision to send hundreds of troops to their death. Even when we pointed out that she had memory loss which is highly indicative of Hughes' Syndrome and not MS. Maybe she could have been saved, and maybe she could not have. It all seems oddly irrelvant now.

With all my love, I hope she has gone to a better place and I will never forget her.

Antonia Marie Chalmers, may she rest in peace: (3/9/75 - 13/8/05)

In NationStates-related news, the issue code has been sent to admin for installation, and I hope you all enjoy it very much. I may not be around for some time.

Final Hurdles

I'm nearly finished doing my grand issue-editing campaign. Once it's all done, I'll send it to one of the admins to install and you'll be able to see what I've been labouring over for the last two weeks. Well, some of you might. Well, probably no-one will unless I can also get the boss to install something else which is hush-hush right now. You'll know it when you see it, but you might not for quite a while.

I don't know how long it'll take for admin to put in the new code. It might take ages and it might take just a few days. Time will tell. Or maybe it won't. Time doesn't make promises.

Butch Blog

I just read Max Barry's Blog about a computer program that analyses text to work out whether the writer was a man or a woman. Well, naturally I tried a number of my blogs, and it seems that my writings are brimming with testosterone. Not one effeminate article could I find. After the initial relief and smugness I wondered if maybe this program was entirely efficient. For instance, it says that the use of the word 'the' is an essentially male attribute, but how can it be? 'The' is the most commonly used word in the language! Writing something and not using it is like trying to drink soup with your elbows. It's clumsy, takes a long time, and makes you look silly. Nevertheless, I was intrigued, so I tried out Reppy's and Euroslavia's blogs (see the links in the sidebar) to see if it matched up with them too. Things did not go entirely as I expected. It seems that Reppy's got a manly touch when it comes to writing blogs, while Euroslavia's practically decorating his efforts with lace, flowers, and impossibly small, cute dogs with pink collars.

We mods are a crazy bunch.

This Is Your Brain On NationStates

As much as I've added to NationStates and changed things around, I'm steadily becoming more and more aware that it's changing me a little too. Whenever I read an article in the newspaper I think "that could make a good NS issue" and it took the MaxChat (see the previous blog) for me to realise this because Max Barry said he does the same thing. Now I come to think of it, there's lots of things that fire off certain neurons in my NS-addled brain. When someone talks about military helicopters a tiny voice in my head talks about moving nations. Should someone mention a 'new order', I think about the Pacific. Simple, innocent terms such as 'Lazarus' or 'nation-states' simply put my mind down different tracks. I once misread the 'mixed berry crumble' option in a menu as 'Max Barry crumble'. That's how bad things have got.

Maybe one day, us NSers will be able to recognise each other from across the street. A certain slouch in the back. A more cynical outlook on political matters. A whimsical approach to taxes. A slight quiver to their frames should the sight of a man running down the street be wearing Nikes. The urge to write down 'Myrth' in the 'other - please specify' box in any survey. Well, maybe you wouldn't see that last one but the point is that we have been MARKED and we are doomed to forever associate cannon with stupidity and to accidentally spell the word 'nuke' with two zeroes.

There is no cure, and we will die, bringing these things to our graves which we'll probably have made into burgers because that's what we chose in that issue, 'A Grave Problem'. Is this truly terrible? I don't think so. It makes us special because these are connotations that belong to us. Our own little in-jokes that no-one else will ever understand nor sympathise with. But there is one thing for certain. No way am I having a man at my funeral saying "He didn't die... he just ceased to exist."

MaxChat 4 Log

Here be the log of MaxChat 4: Beyond Thunderdome. Enjoy!

A Roaring Success

That MaxChat went well! I think it may have been the longest one yet, too! There should be a tidied-up log in the News page soon, and I'll link to that here when it appears. Until then, take a look at this: Funny April Fool's Day Tasks. This came up during the Chat, and I thought: why not? Let them read it. It'll be a laugh.

MaxChat 4: Beyond Thunderdome

Yep, it's that time again! Max Barry will be visiting the IRC channel #nationstates today and answering your questions! You can find out what time to log into IRC in your timezone here: Maxchat in your time.

The chat will be held on the IRC server irc.esper.net, in the channel #nationstates. If you'd like to ask a question, join the #nationstates_QA channel as well. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can discover the wonderful world of internet chat via this IRC primer.

You can see the logs of previous MaxChats here:

MaxChat
MaxChat 2
MaxChat 3: The Reckoning

I wanted to call the latest one 'MaxChat 4: Beyond Thunderdome', but I don't think it's going to happen! The MaxChat will be at midnight in my time, so I may not be there, but I'll certainly attempt it. Be there or be... rhomboid... I dunno...

EDIT: it got called Beyond Thunderdome after all! Yay me!

Getting There

At the time of writing, I am up to issue #63 in my editing campaign. The slow progress is partly due to the complexity of the new code, but it's also due to the fact that I keep on finding other things needing changed in the issues. The occasional typo. A missing comma. Sometimes I find some faulty code which needs corrected, like when I discovered that nations that had banned computers could still be attacked by sentient computer viruses. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure that no artificial intelligence would be THAT good.

But anyway, things are going smoothly. If I know Reppy like I think I know her, then she's busy polishing up a lot of issues ready for putting in the game as soon as I've given the all-clear and we'll have plenty of new ones to keep you interested.

Ain't that nice?

More Fun With Anagrams

More NationStates-related anagrams:

Issue Submission: Simious business.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if half of the ones I look at WERE part of some experiment with monkeys and typewriters...

Sirithil of Menelmacar: Nice, flashier immortal.

Even in anagram form, she's got all sides taken care of. Elvish womenfolk are the height of vanity!

Nominate a NationStates Mod: To emotion and neat Satanism!

Yes. All new mods must sacrifice a chicken before dispensing all their secrets to our resident two-headed goat. It stinks, but there you have it. You're sending these guys to Hell! Literally!

The Mod Centre: Hot, red cement.

Damn Max and his cutting back on the interior decoration budget.

Company: A novel by Max Barry: My capable, bonny Marx ovary.

We all knew it was about communism! And reliability and beauty! And... reproductive organs...

Euroslavia: I've arousal.

Moving on.

Catherine Gratwick: A creaking twitcher.

Is it another clue?! Or is it just a red herring? Is she really a ninety year-old birdwatcher? Who knows...?

New Forum Mod!

After much discussion, it was decided to promote Euroslavia to the position of NationStates forum mod. Any regular forumer is likely to have heard of him as he is a very big name in the select group of 'people who write threads that become stickies'. I myself have a few to my name, but they're almost all in the 'Got Issues?' forum.

I'm positive that he's going to be a smashing mod and a valuable asset to the forums.

Bravo!

Fort William

I'm back from my holiday in the Highlands and it was great! Except for the fact that the car broke down on the way back and I needed to get towed for the remaining fifty miles back home. But ah well. Waiting for one and a half hours on the M9 is a lot less interesting than some people think.

The scenery was beautiful. When I looked at Ben Nevis (which I've been to the top of before, actually), I was fully aware that this was the biggest thing I'd ever seen, excepting obvious technicalites like the Earth, stars, and Michael Winner's nose. Mount Everest is approximately seven times taller and when I tried to imagine that, my brain just waved a little white flag and made me notice that there was a cloud that looked exactly like a platypus (I swear).

I stayed at the Ben Nevis hotel and Leisure Centre. It was OK, but there was no shower, the wardrobe wouldn't open, the Games room was 'out of order' (or so the sign claimed), and the other tenants looked like shuffling zombies at breakfast time. But I expect that couldn't be helped.

The real point of the trip was to the scenery. Look at the mountains. Breathe that clean air (which was remarkably short of midgies to my delight). I went on a steam train ride from Fort William to Mallaig, rode over the Glenfinnian Viaduct (which Harry Potter fans will know was a filming location for at least two of the films. The train I was in was actually the one used for the 'Hogwarts Express' too.) and went on a boat cruise to see a small rocky island covered in seals. I also went to an Indian restaurant in Aberfeldy which I must recommend!

Anyway, I'm back now, and I'm going to be getting on with the new code as soon as possible. Ciao!