Yes, today is a great day for two reasons.
First reason: Euroslavia has been promoted to game moderator! He's been a forum mod for about four months and has shown great enthusiasm in everything he's done. He won't have access to the issue editor until I say he's good enough (the idea of substandard issues being released... it fills my heart with a dark, dark chill... brr...).But I'm sure he'll be a great game moderator! Congratulations, Euro!
The second thing is that [violet] has put in the issue fixes! I'm practically somersaulting with joy here. The upshot of this? Well, first of all we're going to be able to have new issues, and secondly that some time later a new feature will be added to the game which will (hopefully) make you answer your issues in a totally different way.
One of the issues I'm going to put into the game was co-edited by Euroslavia. I'm not going to give away anything about it here. I'll just tell you that it is issue #191 and is the 190th issue to be put into the game.
30 November 2005
29 November 2005
Please Take Your Hands Off Your Buzzers
Anyone who dithered over whether they should apply for the prestigious title of NationStates Administrator have left it too late because the search is over and our new admin will be announced soon (how soon I cannot say).
In the meanwhile, you can take a look at the answers to the quiz here: CLICK ME!
Be warned: you may not understand the answers any more than you understood the questions!
In the meanwhile, you can take a look at the answers to the quiz here: CLICK ME!
Be warned: you may not understand the answers any more than you understood the questions!
24 November 2005
The Assault
Modshort #5!
Now, as ever, this is best viewed when put to 'fast'. Oh, and it'll be much cooler if you imagine 'Flight of The Valkeyries' is playing.
For some reason the site destroyed my last try at this one so I've made another. Hopefully it won't disappear! Enjoy!
Now, as ever, this is best viewed when put to 'fast'. Oh, and it'll be much cooler if you imagine 'Flight of The Valkeyries' is playing.
For some reason the site destroyed my last try at this one so I've made another. Hopefully it won't disappear! Enjoy!
23 November 2005
A Landmark Day
I recently managed to get hold of [violet] who promised to put in the new issue code I worked on in September (August? Memory fails me) as soon as possible. So you can look forwards to getting some brand new issues at last! Fantastic!
20 November 2005
A General Invitation
Anyone who wants to join my region, Lancre, feel free to telegram me or the UN Delegate, Determined Cows. We could do with some fresh blood. We're an active community with a monthly football tournament, we like jogging and watching sunsets, we're a tall 5'11" and GSOH. Looking for a serious relationship, and if it doesn't work out we won't be acrimonious or anything.
Oh, and those who think they could be NationStates' next administrator should sign up as soon as possible. We've already begun the cruel and merciless process of Picking Favourites.
One more thing: there's a cool thread in the United Nations forum that has quite an amusing idea about the possibilites of making a UN card deck. Most curious.
Ta ta!
Oh, and those who think they could be NationStates' next administrator should sign up as soon as possible. We've already begun the cruel and merciless process of Picking Favourites.
One more thing: there's a cool thread in the United Nations forum that has quite an amusing idea about the possibilites of making a UN card deck. Most curious.
Ta ta!
18 November 2005
Will Those Of A Sensitive Nature Please Look Away...
And if that's not enough for those for whom 'curosity killed the cat' is just a superstition I have two words:
SCROTAL ABSCESS
Sorry, but I did warn you. And it hasn't been too pleasant for me either. There is some NationStates news right at the bottom, so feel free to skip the rest.
It all happened four days ago. The weather was clement and I felt quite content, but then... then something quite terrible happened. I discovered I had an abscess. I wouldn't have minded so much if it had been, say, on my elbow or perhaps even my leg. Hell, if I'd had an iota of choice I'd have had it on my nose, but some divine force said 'Nay, thou shalt have this horrendous affliction on your scrotum, one of THE most sensitive and painful places on the human body where, unless you walk like someone who's about to do the splits, will be rubbed against your legs in the most excruciatingly painful way with every step.'
It was a bugger. A real bugger. Especially since I didn't know it was an abscess at first and kept imagining all manners of horrible things. What if it's dangerous? What would happen if it leaked? Would I become infertile? Is it a tumour?! I hoped it would just disappear, but no, it did not.
The next day, I woke up, swung out of my bed and froze as a sudden pain shot through that most intimate of body parts. Very slowly I stood up, took down my trousers, and investigated. The abscess had quadrupled in size and parts of it were black. It was gigantic. It was like having three balls. No longer did I have a left and right testicle because the abscess had dislodged one of them and left me with an upper and lower testicle instead. Very, very slowly I got dressed and went down stairs to make an appointment with the doctor.
The socks were the worst.
The next day I went to the clinic. The car-ride there is something I'd rather forget. There were speed bumps.
The doctor was very understanding as she told me, much to my relief, that it was just an abscess.
'It's very painful? How does it feel here?'
'[unintelligible noises]'
'I see, well, very soon this thing's going to be burst. Would you like me to stick a pin in it?'
'Please tell me you're kidding.'
'No.'
'Well all right then. Will it be sore?'
'A bit.'
Yeah. A bit. I think we all know what THAT means.
'[more prolonged and seemingly desperate unintelligible noises]'
'All right, maybe you should do this at home? I'll give you antibiotics for the week and some painkillers. Run a warm bath later this evening and just apply pressure to the abscess. Now there's an outlet it'll all come out.'
'[somewhat high-pitched] OK.'
So, later that evening I prepared myself mentally for the worst and gave the painkillers a good hour to take effect before I committed myself. I lowered myself into the bath, washed my hair (mostly for some delaying of the Task and not because I wished my hair to be clean, fresh, and smell of Tea Tree and Mint...), and began.
The next hour was one of the most disgusting and painful experiences of my entire life. It was grosser than a live autopsy I saw on television once. It was more painful than that time I fell face forward into a deep patch of nettles. It was even more distressing than the time I got a plastic screw stuck in my right ear. It was nasty in the extreme and I will not share the details here, for I cannot think of a good reason why anyone would want to know them. I am aware that many people take great satisfaction out of squeezing pus. I am not one of them and I never will be. Words cannot even come close to describing my horror at seeing that first jet of pinky fluid shoot out and splash against the bathroom wall.
Brr...
Well, anyway, I feel much better now and I'm optimistically hopeful that what is remaining is just swelling.
In NationStates-related news, Euroslavia has officially completed his first issue with my help. I don't think it's too bad and while his grasp of coding is still weak, there's plenty of room for improvement and I think he'll do excellently with the next one. I have also been busy and am about to undertake the editing of a further three issues myself within the next week. Oh, and the Bastard Moderator from Hell saga's back in fashion. Check it out. Oh yes, one more thing, here are some responses to the ModShort with SalusaSecondus in it.
Ciao! I hope I haven't spoiled any appetites over the next three years.
SCROTAL ABSCESS
Sorry, but I did warn you. And it hasn't been too pleasant for me either. There is some NationStates news right at the bottom, so feel free to skip the rest.
It all happened four days ago. The weather was clement and I felt quite content, but then... then something quite terrible happened. I discovered I had an abscess. I wouldn't have minded so much if it had been, say, on my elbow or perhaps even my leg. Hell, if I'd had an iota of choice I'd have had it on my nose, but some divine force said 'Nay, thou shalt have this horrendous affliction on your scrotum, one of THE most sensitive and painful places on the human body where, unless you walk like someone who's about to do the splits, will be rubbed against your legs in the most excruciatingly painful way with every step.'
It was a bugger. A real bugger. Especially since I didn't know it was an abscess at first and kept imagining all manners of horrible things. What if it's dangerous? What would happen if it leaked? Would I become infertile? Is it a tumour?! I hoped it would just disappear, but no, it did not.
The next day, I woke up, swung out of my bed and froze as a sudden pain shot through that most intimate of body parts. Very slowly I stood up, took down my trousers, and investigated. The abscess had quadrupled in size and parts of it were black. It was gigantic. It was like having three balls. No longer did I have a left and right testicle because the abscess had dislodged one of them and left me with an upper and lower testicle instead. Very, very slowly I got dressed and went down stairs to make an appointment with the doctor.
The socks were the worst.
The next day I went to the clinic. The car-ride there is something I'd rather forget. There were speed bumps.
The doctor was very understanding as she told me, much to my relief, that it was just an abscess.
'It's very painful? How does it feel here?'
'[unintelligible noises]'
'I see, well, very soon this thing's going to be burst. Would you like me to stick a pin in it?'
'Please tell me you're kidding.'
'No.'
'Well all right then. Will it be sore?'
'A bit.'
Yeah. A bit. I think we all know what THAT means.
'[more prolonged and seemingly desperate unintelligible noises]'
'All right, maybe you should do this at home? I'll give you antibiotics for the week and some painkillers. Run a warm bath later this evening and just apply pressure to the abscess. Now there's an outlet it'll all come out.'
'[somewhat high-pitched] OK.'
So, later that evening I prepared myself mentally for the worst and gave the painkillers a good hour to take effect before I committed myself. I lowered myself into the bath, washed my hair (mostly for some delaying of the Task and not because I wished my hair to be clean, fresh, and smell of Tea Tree and Mint...), and began.
The next hour was one of the most disgusting and painful experiences of my entire life. It was grosser than a live autopsy I saw on television once. It was more painful than that time I fell face forward into a deep patch of nettles. It was even more distressing than the time I got a plastic screw stuck in my right ear. It was nasty in the extreme and I will not share the details here, for I cannot think of a good reason why anyone would want to know them. I am aware that many people take great satisfaction out of squeezing pus. I am not one of them and I never will be. Words cannot even come close to describing my horror at seeing that first jet of pinky fluid shoot out and splash against the bathroom wall.
Brr...
Well, anyway, I feel much better now and I'm optimistically hopeful that what is remaining is just swelling.
In NationStates-related news, Euroslavia has officially completed his first issue with my help. I don't think it's too bad and while his grasp of coding is still weak, there's plenty of room for improvement and I think he'll do excellently with the next one. I have also been busy and am about to undertake the editing of a further three issues myself within the next week. Oh, and the Bastard Moderator from Hell saga's back in fashion. Check it out. Oh yes, one more thing, here are some responses to the ModShort with SalusaSecondus in it.
Ciao! I hope I haven't spoiled any appetites over the next three years.
17 November 2005
How To Make Your Own Regional Tournament
Well... at the very least how to make your own version of the Lancre Cup. These are all the rules I originally came up with though I believe the current organisers may have changed things here and there:
All nations in the region are randomly drawn against each other using names-in-a-hat. First are the heats, then the second heats (if necessary), then the quarter finals, semi finals, third place playoff, and the final. How many heats you have played each day is up to you. If a nation doesn't want to compete, all they have to do is ask to be taken off the lists. If a nation dies before it's done any matches, its designated opponent wins by default. If it dies after winning a match, no changes are made.
In the Lancre Cup we don't have any RP element to it other than the carious competitors casually taunting and threatening the other sides. You can try to implement your own way if you like. A nation can win the Cup without even knowing it exists but that's not important to us. It's the taking part that counts!
Scoring goes like this: a dice is rolled for each team with 1 taken off the result of each roll. So, if you rolled a 6 for team A and a 1 for team B, team A would have a score of 5 and B would have a score of 0. If it's a draw, you repeat the rolls.
Now, after your first cup, it would obviously be silly if your finalist last time got beaten by some upstart amateur so the results of the last cup are taken into consideration. This bit can be confusing so it helps to have a piece of paper handy!
A nation which reached the heats in the previous Cup will have no changes to their score. If they score a 6, they get a 5 (remember the 'take away one' thing.)
A nation which reaches the quarter finals playoff will have one added to their score. if they score a 6, they get a 6.
A nation which reaches the semi finals or third place playoff gets two added to their score. If they score a 6, they get a 7.
A nation which reaches the Final will have two added to their score and one taken away from their opponent. If the finalist scores 6, he gets 7 and if the opponent scores 3, he gets 1.
If the opponent of the Finalist has been beyond the heats in the previous Cup, then there is no taking away goals from the opponent.
After the scores have been toted, you write a small match review. Ours are slanted humorously, but you may wish to be more serious.
Have fun! If there are any more questions just e-mail me.
All nations in the region are randomly drawn against each other using names-in-a-hat. First are the heats, then the second heats (if necessary), then the quarter finals, semi finals, third place playoff, and the final. How many heats you have played each day is up to you. If a nation doesn't want to compete, all they have to do is ask to be taken off the lists. If a nation dies before it's done any matches, its designated opponent wins by default. If it dies after winning a match, no changes are made.
In the Lancre Cup we don't have any RP element to it other than the carious competitors casually taunting and threatening the other sides. You can try to implement your own way if you like. A nation can win the Cup without even knowing it exists but that's not important to us. It's the taking part that counts!
Scoring goes like this: a dice is rolled for each team with 1 taken off the result of each roll. So, if you rolled a 6 for team A and a 1 for team B, team A would have a score of 5 and B would have a score of 0. If it's a draw, you repeat the rolls.
Now, after your first cup, it would obviously be silly if your finalist last time got beaten by some upstart amateur so the results of the last cup are taken into consideration. This bit can be confusing so it helps to have a piece of paper handy!
A nation which reached the heats in the previous Cup will have no changes to their score. If they score a 6, they get a 5 (remember the 'take away one' thing.)
A nation which reaches the quarter finals playoff will have one added to their score. if they score a 6, they get a 6.
A nation which reaches the semi finals or third place playoff gets two added to their score. If they score a 6, they get a 7.
A nation which reaches the Final will have two added to their score and one taken away from their opponent. If the finalist scores 6, he gets 7 and if the opponent scores 3, he gets 1.
If the opponent of the Finalist has been beyond the heats in the previous Cup, then there is no taking away goals from the opponent.
After the scores have been toted, you write a small match review. Ours are slanted humorously, but you may wish to be more serious.
Have fun! If there are any more questions just e-mail me.
15 November 2005
Admin Wannabes
We've had a fairly heatlhy response to our advertisement for a new NationStates administrator, but that's pretty much all I can tell you as almost everything else is confidential. I have noticed an upsurge in the number of telegrams I receive asking how to become a moderator. I'm not sure why since we're not after a new one right now. Everything's just spiffy in that department. I usually ignore these telegrams but after receiving "How do you be a mod?" for the seven hundredth time (including variants such as 'How did you be a mod?', 'How can I be modrater?', and 'HOW R U A MOD?!?!') my sensibilities disappeared with this casual cruelty to grammar and I NEARLY wrote back a cutting reply.
But if you're interested, the answer is, of course, that it's just a knack.
But if you're interested, the answer is, of course, that it's just a knack.
13 November 2005
Happy Third Birthday, NationStates!
I'd completely forgotten about this important date until I saw the news post, but that won't stop me bringing out the party whistles and having a good tootle.
When NationStates had its first birthday, Max wrote a 'worldwide' issue that everyone got which centred on that pivotal question - how do we celebrate? For its second birthday, I think we had a MaxChat to mark it, but no-one could have guessed what Max had in store for the big oh-three... and I'm as surprised as anyone else. I was vaguely aware that we were thinking of getting another admin but I didn't know that any serious thought had gone into it.
So am I going to apply? NAY CHANCE. Apart from issues code, I just don't have the technical skill or knowledge. If I tried to do anything, the Jolt technicians would find themselves awoken by the smell of burning plastic. I would, in other words, be piss-poor for the job. But we do need another admin - I've been aware of this for quite a long time. [violet] hardly shows up anymore and SalusaSecondus is always up to his ears with things needing done. Not to mention real life worries. The only reason I'd ever want to be an admin would be so I could fix the issue errors myself.
Anyway, here's ModShort #4 starring one of the admins we've already got - SalusaSecondus!
Happy Birthday, NationStates!
When NationStates had its first birthday, Max wrote a 'worldwide' issue that everyone got which centred on that pivotal question - how do we celebrate? For its second birthday, I think we had a MaxChat to mark it, but no-one could have guessed what Max had in store for the big oh-three... and I'm as surprised as anyone else. I was vaguely aware that we were thinking of getting another admin but I didn't know that any serious thought had gone into it.
So am I going to apply? NAY CHANCE. Apart from issues code, I just don't have the technical skill or knowledge. If I tried to do anything, the Jolt technicians would find themselves awoken by the smell of burning plastic. I would, in other words, be piss-poor for the job. But we do need another admin - I've been aware of this for quite a long time. [violet] hardly shows up anymore and SalusaSecondus is always up to his ears with things needing done. Not to mention real life worries. The only reason I'd ever want to be an admin would be so I could fix the issue errors myself.
Anyway, here's ModShort #4 starring one of the admins we've already got - SalusaSecondus!
Happy Birthday, NationStates!
10 November 2005
Of Novices And Spell-Checks
Euroslavia's beginning to grapple with the more technical side of issue editing now, and boy is he trying hard! But he'll have to try harder, as I only accept the best! Highest standard! Minimum error! Even when he thought he'd conquered the first option I pointed out six places he could improve on, and THAT'S how much this stuff has worked itself into my skull. But hey, he's not doing bad. I'm sure he'll be a fantastic editor by the end of this.
In other news, Salusa has introduced a spell-checker for UN proposals, telegrams, and regional message boards. Not that I need them of course (insert haughty sniff here), but I think it's a great idea. Though, as one person who telegrammed me pointed out, the button has been put in the position the 'send!' button used to have so force of habit means people will keep hitting the wrong switch! I'll have to mention that to Sal when I next bump into him.
Anyhoo, ciao for now.
In other news, Salusa has introduced a spell-checker for UN proposals, telegrams, and regional message boards. Not that I need them of course (insert haughty sniff here), but I think it's a great idea. Though, as one person who telegrammed me pointed out, the button has been put in the position the 'send!' button used to have so force of habit means people will keep hitting the wrong switch! I'll have to mention that to Sal when I next bump into him.
Anyhoo, ciao for now.
09 November 2005
Unfree People Retires
Unfree People, one of our forum mods, retired yesterday due to the pressures of that invasive beast 'real life'. But fear not, for she is not leaving us. She will still be around as a player, spreading her insight and wisdom throughout the forums.
In other news, I won Lancre Cup XII! Fantastic, no? I narrowly defeated Sliponia for the grand prize at an astonishing 8-7 win. The defenders must have been drunk or something...
In other news, I won Lancre Cup XII! Fantastic, no? I narrowly defeated Sliponia for the grand prize at an astonishing 8-7 win. The defenders must have been drunk or something...
08 November 2005
Low On Elf
The nation of Menelmacar died yesterday out of inactivity. This would have been somewhat unremarkable usually, since nations are dying all the time sending billions of souls into the void everyday. Puts our troubles into context I suppose when we hear of how thousands are dying of ailments every week. In the same context I suppose I'm the mass-murdering madman of entire civilisations. Hmm. Maybe I should get a tie.
Anyway, what was so special about this one dying was the fact that Menelmacar is a moderator and is actually quite active for someone who should be dead. Menelmacar's more commonly known as Siri, short for Sirithil which is an Elvish name. Quite appropriate, since her country is ruled, and populated, by elves. Some would pin it down to coincidence, me, I think she did it on purpose. This is no time for speculation anyhow, as I'm sure you're wondering how her nation could have died from inactivity if she was so active. Well, before I relate the tale, I shall tell you one more thing which shall send shivers down your soul.
IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. [Cue Bach's Toccata in D minor]
Basically, your nation will automatically be deleted if you do not log into your nation for 28 days, 60 if you're on vacation mode. What the unfortunate Siri had done was this: she had not logged into her nation. She had instead being going directly to the forums and IRC channels. Her nation had slowly wasted away and before you can say "It will be a light for you in dark places", it had gone into the fiery abysses of Sal's wastepaper basket. As soon as she found out what had happened, Siri restored it of course but it was a dreadful reminder of what can happen when you lose focus...
As for the other time it occured, that was when it happened to poor old TJ Hairball's nation. He didn't stand a chance, poor bugger. He is a forum mod after all.
Anyway, what was so special about this one dying was the fact that Menelmacar is a moderator and is actually quite active for someone who should be dead. Menelmacar's more commonly known as Siri, short for Sirithil which is an Elvish name. Quite appropriate, since her country is ruled, and populated, by elves. Some would pin it down to coincidence, me, I think she did it on purpose. This is no time for speculation anyhow, as I'm sure you're wondering how her nation could have died from inactivity if she was so active. Well, before I relate the tale, I shall tell you one more thing which shall send shivers down your soul.
IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. [Cue Bach's Toccata in D minor]
Basically, your nation will automatically be deleted if you do not log into your nation for 28 days, 60 if you're on vacation mode. What the unfortunate Siri had done was this: she had not logged into her nation. She had instead being going directly to the forums and IRC channels. Her nation had slowly wasted away and before you can say "It will be a light for you in dark places", it had gone into the fiery abysses of Sal's wastepaper basket. As soon as she found out what had happened, Siri restored it of course but it was a dreadful reminder of what can happen when you lose focus...
As for the other time it occured, that was when it happened to poor old TJ Hairball's nation. He didn't stand a chance, poor bugger. He is a forum mod after all.
04 November 2005
The Jester's New Clothes
ModShort #3!
This was originally intended to be a parody of a popular fable, but I forgot while I was doing it. Ah well. At least I have learned one thing from this - PLAN YOUR MODSHORT. Maybe then I won't start writing a joke when I haven't thought of a punchline... anyway, do enjoy.
This was originally intended to be a parody of a popular fable, but I forgot while I was doing it. Ah well. At least I have learned one thing from this - PLAN YOUR MODSHORT. Maybe then I won't start writing a joke when I haven't thought of a punchline... anyway, do enjoy.
03 November 2005
Disqualification
Well, damn it. I am definitely NOT going to be able to complete the challenge I set myself about a week ago to complete three issues by the 5th of Novemeber. Fantastic, eh? I blame it on society. I have set myself a more realistic challenge now. I shall complete ONE issue by the 12th of November. It shall be mighty and stand above all other issues who will surely look and know their master. We can only hope.
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