Happy Holidays Everyone

I'll be off back home for Christmas from the 16th 'til about a week after New Year. I'll maybe say hello to those on the NationStates IRC channels since mIRC doesn't appear to work on the university's connections.

Tum te tum... that's all.

Murder On the NationStates Express

Modshort #13

A new Modshort! This time starring Tsaraine. Enjoy!

Also, while I'm typing away I might as well relate one side of a telephone conversation from my university life to illustrate why you should never let one of your flatmates get to said phone before you when you know your mother is about to call:

"Hello, this is the foot fetish line, would you like me to suck your feet or lick your toes?"

My mum thought she'd got the wrong number, bless her.

Resignation

After a long time considering things, I have decided it is time for me to retire from my post as moderator of NationStates, to stop playing altogether and let Sirocco go to the great region in the sky. It's been a wonderful three years, and I don't regret a bit of it, but the gaps that were filled by NationStates have now been filled by other things. I'd like to thank Max and the mods for all the things they've made possible for me during my time supporting the site. I'm satisfied that I've helped the game develop: I created code that allows nations to measure their unemployment rates and I helped get the site up to two hundred issues when there was once only thirty-one. I think that's pretty cool. Shame I can't put it on my CV.

I'll still be happy to help those wanting advice on writing issues, but I will no longer be helping with moderation requests. My e-mail address will remain the same.

It may be the end of my time as a NationStater but it needn't be the end of this blog. I think I might update it occasionally... write more Modshorts... whatever springs to mind.

Oh, and NationStates will be an incredible four years old on the twelfth of November. Just thought I'd mention that.

Ho Ho Ho

Haven't got anything to add really, but I just had to mention something funny:

One of my flatmates, and I swear to God this is true, once attended an educational centre called Newbie School. I AM NOT KIDDING. THAT IS EVEN HOW IT IS SPELLED. She doesn't quite understand why I find this unendingly hilarious, but there you go. I can think of some who might benefit from a little training there. Stop them from flinging their n00kz where they don't belong...

Life Continues

Hello! I'm still alive. Just been having a grand old time adjusting to life in the university. I can at least assure you all that I will be continuing as a NationStates mod but most likely I will only be dealing with issue editing from now on. Since I've moved to Aberdeen I feel different. Life's different. Things have changed, for the better I feel, but some things have gone. NationStates no longer holds such a strong interest for me anymore, and I don't have the time or, if I'm going to be frank, the inclination to carry out the full scope of modly duties. From now on, I will probably just be an issue editor and not a proper moderator. It's a break, but one that I feel is necessary. If this state of affairs can't continue then I will most likely retire, but I don't think that'll happen.

Anyway:

Aberdeen has been great. I've made loads of new friends, and I'm really enjoying my courses though I am having a few misgivings over my music course. I was the only one in the class to get all the lecturer's questions on music theory correct, and the only one to know that 3/8 time is a simple time signature and not a compound one. Not a good sign. I've obviously overestimated how difficult this was going to be, but ach well. There're grand pianos!

Funny story: I was watching a DVD with two girls in my room when my dad phoned. As I was talking to him, one of the girls said very loudly 'COME BACK TO BEEEEEEEED!' and the other said 'YES, COME BACK TO BOTH OF US!'

It took a wee bit of convincing to assure my dad I was being a hard-working and sensible student.

One of our cats, Pippin, died today from some kind of poison (or so we believe). It is very sad.

I don't have any news about NationStates in particular, but I have it on good authority that Jolt's been 'rather wonky' recently. I don't know what the problem is but hopefully it'll be solved soon.

An Absence

On Saturday I shall be moving to Aberdeen to start my four-year course at the university there. I don't know what internet access will be like there or if I'll be able to feasibly continue moderating. Unlikely, I hope, but there is a possibility that I may have to retire from modding if university life proves to be too full of things to do. I'll probably not be around very much at all over the next few weeks while I settle in and get to grips with this. Having lived in a village all my life I'm not sure what to expect living in a big city like Aberdeen (I know it's not really a big city but I'm drawing from experience). I hope to put some articles up so you can all tell how I'm getting on and any rich buggers reading this will feel moved enough by my plight to send me loadsa money. I've always been optimistic.

In NationStates news, I have to congratulate Katganistan and Frisbeeteria on their promotion to the positions of Senior Game Moderator which they would have got yonks ago if anyone had remembered I'm sure. The position doesn't carry any extra responsibility - it's simply a mark of respect for the hard work these two have done to keep NationStates running. Well done, Kat and Fris!

There's a poll running in the Moderation forum on whether to have a new MaxChat or not. Check it out and have your say.

Courtesy of Rhaomi, we have discovered a weird chat-room type thing called Gabbly that can be applied to any website. Most intriguing. Here's one for you to click for the blog:

http://gabbly.com/siroccothemod.blogspot.com/

Here's a Max Barry one as well for your convenience.

Why My Hair Is Greasy Today

Not much in the way of NationStates news right now, so I'll relate the tale of why today my hair is greasy (as you may have surmised from the title).

First things first, I have to explain to you all that I HATE WASPS. I really can't stand them. I hate the way they buzz around you for what seems like an ice age while you stand statue-still, not daring to breathe, lest the little bugger take this as an insult and sting you I've never been stung by a wasp, so who knows? I may be fatally allergic to the things, and I don't want to find out. I get recurring nightmares about wasps trying to crawl into my ears, and I have vivid dreams. Very vivid. It was only recently that I discovered people often don't hear or smell or taste anything in their dreams. Apparently some don't even dream in colour. But that's besides the point, because I HATE WASPS. I remember some lady once remarking how a body-building friend of hers who boxed and wasn't scared of anything ran away screaming like a little girl when wasps came near. Well guess what, lady, but you can't engage wasps in fisticuffs! Because they bloody well STING you! There's no winning against such creatures of unending malice.

Anyway, my story:

I was having a bath last night, ready for a nice relaxing soak, and perhaps another chapter of my novel. I was washing my hair (I have lots of hair. It's quite afro-esque.) when I noticed something crawling on the ceiling. It looked quite big but I was not unduly alarmed. I thought it was an earwig of some sort. But then I heard THAT BUZZING and saw another flying around. There were two wasps in the bathroom. My chances of having a quiet slumber in the tub were destroyed. I couldn't keep my eyes off them. Whenever one of them flew, I'd instinctively retreat further into the water. Possibly I was hoping they would not notice my vulnerable naked body and connive to sting me.

I then noticed another wasp on the curtain above me. Watching. Biding its time. THREE wasps. This was not good. I was getting understandably nervous by now. I'm not one of those who will cheerfully swat at wasps with a rolled up newspaper. I am not one of those who will with wanton good cheer and ludic gaiety tease a tiger or see how close I can stand to a rabid rottweiler on a chain. The only time in recent memory I have of killing a wasp was when I accidentally trod on one while bare-footed. Strangely enough, I didn't get stung, but that's not the point. Once again I have let me distract myself. Where was I? Ah yes.

I was, at this moment, contemplating my escape from this room of wasps when the most appallingly terrible thing happened - the wasp on the curtain fell into the bath with a little plop.

The world. Stopped.

I could not have rocketed out of that tub faster had the wasp been some kind of pirhana that survives by eating penises. I let out an almighty gurgling scream, the shampoo in my hair, quite forgotten, and splashed just about a half of the water onto the floor. When I was up, I noticed even MORE wasps were in the room. I shot out of the room, bollock-naked, tripped, and slammed face-first onto the landing.

And that's where my mum found me.

After that, memories are vague, but there was absolutely no chance I was going back into that iniquitious den of waspy terror so I think I slept the rest of the night as my hair slowly congealed into its present oily morass. My story complete, I shall now adjourn to finish my bath and clean my hair.

After a VERY thorough inspection.

Issue #200 Is In The Game

Yep, we finally made it. NationStates now has 200 issues. If I have to stop being a mod when I move to Aberdeen at least I can rest easy knowing I got NationStates to this level. It's been a while coming... I can still remember back in the day when we only had 31 to keep us busy.

I'd like to thank Scolopendra and GMC Military Arms who helped me craft some of the options in this issue, and I'm crediting them as co-editors of this one. An extra-special thanks to Sal who, despite being very busy, went out of his way to write some code and make this issue just that bit more special.

Enjoy!

Tactical Grace Retires

Tactical Grace became a mod just a few hours after I did so I like to think in a whimisical kind of way that we're like 'mod-brothers'. It's the end of an era, certainly, as TG has been quite resolute that this time he isn't coming back. Good luck, TG!

Here's [violet]'s announcement thread on the retirement.

In other news, we've got another Game Mod Olympics. Big applause to the efforts of Frisbeeteria, Katganistan, and Euroslavia! They do a hell of the share of the workload. I'd help, but everytime I check the tasklist it's empty. Damn you, workaholics!

There's a cool thread by Witchcliff in the United Nations forum to check out too.

Oh, and an ultra-cool NationStates webcomic by Toopoxia. It's about time we had one of these, although there aren't enough flightless hippos for my liking.

HotRodia

We have a new forum mod! HotRodia will do wonders, I'm sure. He was picked for his outstanding level-headedness and professionalism when provoked and his clear understanding of the forum rules.

Welcome aboard!

In other news:

The Siroc & Newsted Saga has started up again after a very lengthy hiatus. Our heroes are still where we left them - fleeing a cat monster in the region of Venus. Poor sods.

Just a note to all - the 200th issue may show up as being #201 but because of some faulty duplicated issues being taken out of circulation a while back it WILL be the game's big two-zero-zero.

Ciao!

Of Old And New

In a fit of pique I searched for myself on Google and discovered this ancient thread. Reading it now is like some kind of incredible ego-booster. I'd better watch out or my head might come off and float away. Looking at other things, it's still weird to have people I've never heard of talking about issues I've edited, articles I've posted in this blog (which I can't say I ever get any evidence of having a very wide following), and decisions I've made. Only interesting to me, of course, but it does give a small window into NationStates history. If anyone knows of interesting threads and RPs from long ago then e-mail me and I'll stick 'em up.

In other news, I've just about completed the game's two hundredth issue. I want to make it a bit special though, so I've talked to Sal, and he's going to speak to the boss, about introducing something... interesting to this particular one. I hope everyone likes it. I won't know whether the snazzy thing I'm adding will be approved until later though. Keep your eyes out.

The Spaghetti Incident

Modshort #12!

This short is based on a conversation held between the mods some time ago. Too cool to waste. Here it is, but I recommend watching the short first. Remember to watch it on fast. The lettering got buggered up for some reason but I'm sure you can live with that.

Katganistan: I'm explaining how to make spaghetti sauce in #nationstates_general
K: ;)
Sirocco: Oh dear.
S: This may be before your time, Kat, but we all remember...
S: THE SPAGHETTI INCIDENT.
K: Does this have to do with the flying spaghetti monster and his noodly appendages?
S: Yes.
K: Pray tell, I never got the full story.
Pythagosaurus: Pastafarian
S: One day the NS Generalites decided to make some spaghetti.
S: They all agreed that spaghetti be made.
S: Spaghetti, they considered, is a good thing.
S: But they could not agree HOW such a venture should be undertaken.
S: Should it be tomatoey or cheesy? Or a blend of both that is equal?
S: Should there be parmesan?
S: The debates raged for months, and many mods lost their lives trying to calm the stormy wrangling that issued forth from that most controversial of forums.
K: OMG NOES!
S: But then... one rogue Generalite went and made spaghetti all by himself. A dangerous thing to do. You will mind that this was before these modern ideas of 'too many cooks spoil the broth'.
S: It was disastrous.
S: The Generalite, Pastafarian, as Pythagosaurus reminded us, had created a monster.
S: It swooped down on all and sunder, strangling those in its path with its long noodlous strands of death.
K: Sounds like only one solution....
S: For a long time the forum was nothing but a dark red cave of tomato sauce, oregano and the lingering smell of parmesan which made everyone thoroughly ill.
K: eat it before it eats you!
S: That's exactly right!
S: The call went up and all Italian food aficionados were summoned to bring their forks and inauspiciously spartan white shirts.
K: hehehe
S: Many lost their lives, and the graves still cover a lot of the old General forum archives, but eventually the creature was destroyed.
K: MMMMmmmmm!
K: ;)
S: And so ended the tale of the Spaghetti Incident.
* Sirocco bows.
K: delicious.
K: :)

Issue #199 Is In The Game

A nice chunky five-optioner. Not really much else I want to say at this point. Enjoy!

Economic Legends Of NationStates

I was having a browse through the forums today when I came across this cool thread by the nation 'Knights of Zion' who decided to interview some of the nations who consistently best the UN rankings. Good read!

In other news, I've been pretty busy preparing for university so I haven't been able to do much, but the next new issue is very nearly completed.

NationStates On The Small Screen

Well... YouTube, anyway. That site where people upload their own home-made films and such for worldwide perusal, you know? I was just browsing it when I wondered what would happen if I searched for everyone's favourite browser-based game.

The results are scary, hilarious, bizarre, or just downright odd. Feel free to apply all labels liberally where you wish. Here's some examples:

Allanean Propaganda.
ACCEL recruitment video.
Recruitment ad for the Meritocratic Legions.
I'm not sure what this is...
Ad for the Empire of Great Britain and Ireland.
Alpha Omega recruitment video.

I then searched for Max Barry and got two results where we see him talking on one of his book tours.

He appears to be standing on the equator:

Max Barry Vid 1
Max Barry Vid 2

Results!

I got my school results a few days ago, the fruit of exhaustive studying for exams. Here they are:

Advanced Higher Music: A
Advanced Higher Maths: D
Higher Classical Studies: A
Higher Geography: B

Not bad, I reckon. Shame about the maths result. Half of me expected to do better, but the other two thirds knew I had no chance. I'll be going to Aberdeen, the granite city, in due time. If any Aberdonians are reading this do get in touch - it'd be cool to have some friends waiting for me there. It'd be my first time meeting other NationStaters too.

I'm working on a new issue. As of now it has five options. Should be pretty interesting.

Inbox Of Iniquity

I was reading Max's latest post today, and it got me thinking about the kind of stuff that plagues my inbox. Now I haven't written any books, but I have edited lots of issues and since a link to my nation is provided with each one, many people have happily sent me telegrams on a whole variety of subjects which can be summarised by these queries:

How do you become a moderator?
What is a moderator?
I have been playing for a long time and believe that I would be a good moderator... [etc.]

There are some other things occasionally though. Max Barry notes that he gets fawning e-mails and I get them too sometimes but the majority of those commenting on my issues would not really be happy with anything less than my immediate and brutal suicide.

It kinda makes me feel a little like a Max Barry in minature. He gets e-mails from people wanting to marry his characters and I get telegrams from people who want to murder mine for being so ill-informed/biased/disagreeing/etc. with their own point of view. I would, however, personally be rather suspicious of anyone who wanted to marry a NationStates issue disputant. Weird. But in many ways I'm not like Max. While he may welcome correspondence with an avuncular sense of gaiety I find it most tiresome. Especially when most of the questions I'm being asked could be resolved by a look over the FAQ. Of the others, and the numerous ones that just say 'hi' or 'wassup?' I despair. So many people wanting to correspond with me may at first seem quite gratifying but it makes my brain shrivel in fear and hide in some dank corner of my skull. Crouching behind the top of the spinal column it screeches 'please, no! I can't bear it! TOO MANY!'

Perhaps I'm exaggerating. But I'm building up with residual guilt from ignoring so many telegrams I just don't have time to answer. I'm always willing to help with writing issues and such, but my heart sinks when it sees something like 'You're the only moderator I know so I was wondering...'

Ach well. It appears even quasi-fame has its downfall.

Back From Greece

I have returned!

The place I went to wasn't Corfu as it turned out but another Greek island called Zakynthos, famous for its turtle nesting grounds.

My first impression of the place was that it was hot. Very hot. Incredibly hot, even. In Scotland, any temperatures above, I dunno, 16 degrees Celsius are thought of as warm, and anything above 20 as uncommonly hot. Temperatures in Greece were in the forties! I have never known such things. England and Belgium were bad enough, I thought, but it was nothing in comparison to Greece. Even at night-time it was as warm as any of Scotland's hottest days. I couldn't help but be very off-put by this. Just like the sinister way the weather never changed... I probably drank enough lemonade to destroy whole orchards. And the sweat! I've never really sweated except when exercising and eating curries, but here I was flowing like a spring just when walking up the street. I felt quite marinated by the end of the holiday.

But I'm back now and do hope to get right stuck into editing issues again as soon as possible.

Efharisto!

Gone To Greece

I'll be away for two weeks. I don't really expect to have internet access so I won't be around until August.

If any other NationStaters are visiting Corfu during this period and want to meet me, I sayeth to you: good luck!

Don't let NationStates die while I'm away.

Another United Nations Forum

Take a look here.

A fine place for all those interested in improving the NationStates world through vociferous debate and bouts of sulking. Just like in real politics.