Inbox Of Iniquity

I was reading Max's latest post today, and it got me thinking about the kind of stuff that plagues my inbox. Now I haven't written any books, but I have edited lots of issues and since a link to my nation is provided with each one, many people have happily sent me telegrams on a whole variety of subjects which can be summarised by these queries:

How do you become a moderator?
What is a moderator?
I have been playing for a long time and believe that I would be a good moderator... [etc.]

There are some other things occasionally though. Max Barry notes that he gets fawning e-mails and I get them too sometimes but the majority of those commenting on my issues would not really be happy with anything less than my immediate and brutal suicide.

It kinda makes me feel a little like a Max Barry in minature. He gets e-mails from people wanting to marry his characters and I get telegrams from people who want to murder mine for being so ill-informed/biased/disagreeing/etc. with their own point of view. I would, however, personally be rather suspicious of anyone who wanted to marry a NationStates issue disputant. Weird. But in many ways I'm not like Max. While he may welcome correspondence with an avuncular sense of gaiety I find it most tiresome. Especially when most of the questions I'm being asked could be resolved by a look over the FAQ. Of the others, and the numerous ones that just say 'hi' or 'wassup?' I despair. So many people wanting to correspond with me may at first seem quite gratifying but it makes my brain shrivel in fear and hide in some dank corner of my skull. Crouching behind the top of the spinal column it screeches 'please, no! I can't bear it! TOO MANY!'

Perhaps I'm exaggerating. But I'm building up with residual guilt from ignoring so many telegrams I just don't have time to answer. I'm always willing to help with writing issues and such, but my heart sinks when it sees something like 'You're the only moderator I know so I was wondering...'

Ach well. It appears even quasi-fame has its downfall.