Hell's Gates

... Remember to rub your feet on the doormat. I say this because the citizens of the region of Hell (hellions?) are generally quite good at keeping to the rules and are quick to report spammers despite presumably being the alleged hordes of Hades.

Sometimes NationStates can throw up a lot of funny stuff like this though people seldom sit back and appreciate it. For instance, people keep calling their region 'Penis Land', which is obscene and must thus be renamed. Renaming regions can be quite amusing sometimes (and I am NOT encouraging anyone to go out there and create offensively-named regions. I've got little enough time as it is.), and I admit I get a small satisfaction of renaming such regions. I always rename Penis Land as Pen Island. Anustopia? The Deep South. Penis and Vagina Land? Reproductive Organs. Itchy Rectum? Surreptitious Scratching. And so it goes on. But another source of amusement I get is from the conflicting values of a region's name and its attitudes.

Take the region of Hell, for example:

Hell's founder is a long-dead nation called Satan. This is actually pretty neat, because it gives the region more credibility. But since Satan is dead, it kind of begs the question 'what is the point of joining?' If the Dark Prince, Beelzebub (which sounds like a Mervyn Peake character to me), Eater of Souls has snuffed it then surely that means that the war between Heaven and Hell is over because God has won? And before you interject, the nation of God is actually out there somewhere!

It's interesting to note that Hell has a substantially larger population than Heaven. This is understandable of course, since Hell has all the best tunes, cooler clothes, and you get to stay up late.

Another interesting thing is that once, a long time ago, in a galaxy right over here, there was a region called The Atheist Alliance. I remember it was quite popular, but it looks like it's long gone now. The funny thing is that Hell and The Atheist Alliance were allied against Heaven. Now, I say, this does seem a tiny bit hypocritical on the atheists' part. Do they not believe in their allies? I know this is true of all nations today, but to not believe that they exist may be a step too far. I can just picture it now.

Demon: Help! Help us, atheists! Our troops are being slaughtered! They've brought out the holy hand grenades and the exorcism tanks! Oh no! They just got General Lucifer with their blessed bazookas!

Atheist: I don't believe you. You are nothing more than a random fluxation in the space-time continuum!

Demon: [splutters] What? We were shaking hands just a moment ago! I had my claws crossed behind my back of course, but that's my job!

Atheist: You're a symbol of an outmoded system of decrepit self-punishment that has no place within the scientific utopia of modern society.

Demon: Well I'll be damned!

Atheist: You already are.

Demon: Good point, but-

[Demon is hit by bolt of lightning]

Atheist: God damn!

God: I already did.

Atheist: Indeed.

Someday it'll all be an audio story at the back of some library. I can just feel it.