If anyone's been wondering why I haven't been posting much this month it's because this summer has turned out to be a real scorcher. Hot weather makes me very drowsy. It gives me headaches and sometimes even makes me physically sick. I'm not sure why this is, but it can be embarrassing sometimes. Anyway, more than five minutes in the sun and I start wilting and slurring my words. As such, I've been far too lethargic to post anything here, or do much on NationStates recently. But never fear! There will be new issues very soon, I promise. I've already deleted most of the issues I know are unusable, so it's a matter of sifting through the 'maybes' (and there's a fair few!).
Updates will be coming soon.
09 June 2005
06 June 2005
Siroc & Newsted: As Seen On TV
Well, as seen on Artpad, anyway. I couldn't resist letting my imagination whirl a little longer on that thing, and have created a small story (it has a beginning, a middle, and half an ending which is good enough for me) which stars everyone's favourite bungling heads of state, the incorrigible King Siroc and President Newsted.
View it here: http://artpad.art.com/?ihmuuj19witg
I'll maybe make a sequel if popularity demands it!
View it here: http://artpad.art.com/?ihmuuj19witg
I'll maybe make a sequel if popularity demands it!
05 June 2005
Easter Eggs
I can remember when the idea of putting Easter Egg issues was introduced by Sal, and I was pretty amused by the idea. It was even funnier when people started getting them and started asking bewildered questions about levers causing the end of the world. But Sal's far too busy to make any new ones and I'm loathe to do any myself because I much prefer writing/editing 'serious' ones. If you could ever possibly call any of the issues serious.
But recently it occured to me that we have 179 issues in the game (178 if you don't count the anniversary issue Max Barry wrote since no one will ever get it again) and only 2 easter eggs (no, I'm not going to say how to get them!). So maybe it is time for at least one new issue of this nature. Who knows? I'd have to ask SalusaSecondus what he thinks and go on from there.
As an ardent Doctor Who fan (the new series is genuinely one of the best things that's been on television for a long time), my first thoughts was that it should involve Daleks attacking your nation! But it isn't really appropriate (or is it?) and the notoriety of the Terry Nation estate in regard to the Daleks' copyright is too scary for words!
But recently it occured to me that we have 179 issues in the game (178 if you don't count the anniversary issue Max Barry wrote since no one will ever get it again) and only 2 easter eggs (no, I'm not going to say how to get them!). So maybe it is time for at least one new issue of this nature. Who knows? I'd have to ask SalusaSecondus what he thinks and go on from there.
As an ardent Doctor Who fan (the new series is genuinely one of the best things that's been on television for a long time), my first thoughts was that it should involve Daleks attacking your nation! But it isn't really appropriate (or is it?) and the notoriety of the Terry Nation estate in regard to the Daleks' copyright is too scary for words!
04 June 2005
When Flightless Hippos Attack!
Attack of the flightless hippos.
A tragic story filled, with horror... love... the rise and fall of empires... and lots of bloodthirsty flightless hippos!
Well, kinda. That's what I had in my mind anyway. The basic synopsis is that some flightless hippos attack a defenceless Siroccan village and through methods not disclosed then set fire to it. After eating the inhabitants. They're not cute and cuddly creatures y'know!
A tragic story filled, with horror... love... the rise and fall of empires... and lots of bloodthirsty flightless hippos!
Well, kinda. That's what I had in my mind anyway. The basic synopsis is that some flightless hippos attack a defenceless Siroccan village and through methods not disclosed then set fire to it. After eating the inhabitants. They're not cute and cuddly creatures y'know!
03 June 2005
Of Cuckqueans And Search Engines
I got an e-mail today telling me that I'm responsible for almost all uses of the word 'cuckqueans' on the entire internet. This struck me as quite peculiar, but no, it is true.
Why is there no cash prize? I was gutted to find out.
Why is there no cash prize? I was gutted to find out.
Making Headways
The new issue batch is looking good. Plenty of crappy ones, as is to be expected, but there's a fair number of what I mentally call 'maybes' which look like they have potential. No gems which make me instantly want to start editing yet, but hey, time will tell.
Some issues were just bizarre. Like the one with the squirrels in straitjackets. I can still see their twitching little whiskers and their mad little eyes as they wander aimlessly around their padded cells... this is a mental picture I've drawn up of course. No actual illustrations were provided.
Anyway, there should be a spate of new issues on the way, so never fear! No news is good news unless it's because I'm dead. Which, even when I look at the pros, would be terrible. I'll have updates soon!
Some issues were just bizarre. Like the one with the squirrels in straitjackets. I can still see their twitching little whiskers and their mad little eyes as they wander aimlessly around their padded cells... this is a mental picture I've drawn up of course. No actual illustrations were provided.
Anyway, there should be a spate of new issues on the way, so never fear! No news is good news unless it's because I'm dead. Which, even when I look at the pros, would be terrible. I'll have updates soon!
01 June 2005
New Month, New Issues
The new batch of issues is here at last! It's much smaller than I expected, a paltry 400 issues over the last two months, but it's only to be expected I suppose. If you submitted an issue between June 2003 and the 18th of March 2005, it has either been deleted or put into the game.
Anyway, you can expect some new issues to be on the way soon. If you submitted any, good luck, and please continue to do so!
Anyway, you can expect some new issues to be on the way soon. If you submitted any, good luck, and please continue to do so!
31 May 2005
Restrictions
Everyday I get telegrams asking how to submit an issue, and I almost always reply with the following:
"When your population reaches 500 million, a link will appear in your 'issues' page."
This sometimes provokes the aggrieved "Why?" question, and I've decided to give the lowdown here.
In the days before the 500 million population limit was installed, I'd have to wade through hundreds upon hundreds of issues which were stupid, were gibberish, were obscene, or had no discernable relevance to NationStates at all. I remember one submission particularly, where the author seemed to believe it was some kind of dating agency profile submission form. Evidently, I needed to find out why we were getting all this crap.
After some brief research, I came to the conclusion that a lot of the rubbish coming in was coming from brand new nations who didn't understand anything about the subtle art of issue writing. They didn't even care.
So, there was nothing for it. I became a hermit and climbed to the highest peak and contemplated the situation for the next week. Through terrible cold and bullet rain I cogitated over possible solutions. Eventually, I decided to do what must be done and requested [violet] to only let bigger nations submit issues.
I decided this because of a number of things. Firstly, a lot of people were discovering NationStates, messing around for a while, submit some nonsense as an issue (why? because they can!) and then buggering off. This was giving me a lot of stuff to have to clear up and I didn't like it one bit. With the restrictions in place, only nations that had stayed for three months could submit an issue which meant that the submitters would actually know what an issue is, how they're written, how they look, etc. They'd also have a good idea of what had been done before and would therefore would not repeat it. Using an idea that's already been done before is the number one reason for issue submission deletion right now. It's getting harder, I know, because so many ideas have already been done, but it's not the end! You need not despair! I can think of at least ten subjects needing written off the top of my head. There's a lot that's worthy of being put in if you put your mind to it!
Secondly, well, there isn't really a secondly because my first point pretty much covers the core problems, but there is another reason. People who've stayed loyal to the site for three months must, at some level, care about the game, and want to contribute. The best way you can contribute is to buy Max Barry's books of course, but if the will's there, the person will feel the magical warmth of realising that their issue is being looked at by people all over the world. It may have changed a lot, but it was still their initiative that put it out for everyone to see. From students discussing it in their Modern Studies classes, to some anonymous person you wouldn't look at twice in the street, there are people who will think about and be affected by the situation you've produced for them to puzzle over. People with that kind of interest in the site have the potential to write real stonking good issues.
So? Has it worked? The answer is a resounding yes. I do still wade through a lot of unmentionable garbage, but the ratio of good issues to bad issues is much closer and I don't have to wait until red veins are creeping across my eyeballs before I find the diamond in the coalmine.
So to all those budding new NationStaters who've got a great idea for an issue, don't despair at the three-month wait! It'll give you plenty of time to develop your idea, verify its uniqueness, and trim and package it for my (and hopefully others') inspection. Observe, learn, practise.
Good luck!
"When your population reaches 500 million, a link will appear in your 'issues' page."
This sometimes provokes the aggrieved "Why?" question, and I've decided to give the lowdown here.
In the days before the 500 million population limit was installed, I'd have to wade through hundreds upon hundreds of issues which were stupid, were gibberish, were obscene, or had no discernable relevance to NationStates at all. I remember one submission particularly, where the author seemed to believe it was some kind of dating agency profile submission form. Evidently, I needed to find out why we were getting all this crap.
After some brief research, I came to the conclusion that a lot of the rubbish coming in was coming from brand new nations who didn't understand anything about the subtle art of issue writing. They didn't even care.
So, there was nothing for it. I became a hermit and climbed to the highest peak and contemplated the situation for the next week. Through terrible cold and bullet rain I cogitated over possible solutions. Eventually, I decided to do what must be done and requested [violet] to only let bigger nations submit issues.
I decided this because of a number of things. Firstly, a lot of people were discovering NationStates, messing around for a while, submit some nonsense as an issue (why? because they can!) and then buggering off. This was giving me a lot of stuff to have to clear up and I didn't like it one bit. With the restrictions in place, only nations that had stayed for three months could submit an issue which meant that the submitters would actually know what an issue is, how they're written, how they look, etc. They'd also have a good idea of what had been done before and would therefore would not repeat it. Using an idea that's already been done before is the number one reason for issue submission deletion right now. It's getting harder, I know, because so many ideas have already been done, but it's not the end! You need not despair! I can think of at least ten subjects needing written off the top of my head. There's a lot that's worthy of being put in if you put your mind to it!
Secondly, well, there isn't really a secondly because my first point pretty much covers the core problems, but there is another reason. People who've stayed loyal to the site for three months must, at some level, care about the game, and want to contribute. The best way you can contribute is to buy Max Barry's books of course, but if the will's there, the person will feel the magical warmth of realising that their issue is being looked at by people all over the world. It may have changed a lot, but it was still their initiative that put it out for everyone to see. From students discussing it in their Modern Studies classes, to some anonymous person you wouldn't look at twice in the street, there are people who will think about and be affected by the situation you've produced for them to puzzle over. People with that kind of interest in the site have the potential to write real stonking good issues.
So? Has it worked? The answer is a resounding yes. I do still wade through a lot of unmentionable garbage, but the ratio of good issues to bad issues is much closer and I don't have to wait until red veins are creeping across my eyeballs before I find the diamond in the coalmine.
So to all those budding new NationStaters who've got a great idea for an issue, don't despair at the three-month wait! It'll give you plenty of time to develop your idea, verify its uniqueness, and trim and package it for my (and hopefully others') inspection. Observe, learn, practise.
Good luck!
30 May 2005
I Say, I Say, I Say
To pass the time, I've invented some NationStates jokes to tell your friends whenever you want to get a slow, uncomprehending, blank stare.
1. A nation walks into a bar and orders a soft drink. The barman gives it to him, whereupon the nation downs it one gulp and asks for another. After fifty drinks, the barman is moved to ask "Why are you buying all these soft drinks?" The nation replies "I've got the pop bug."
2. A man is walking along in the Rejected Realms, when suddenly out of the sky falls a man. The man plunges into the ground and gets up, in some considerable pain. The first man helps him up and asks what happened. The other man replied "I'm a UN delegate, and I recently found a genie who would grant me three wishes. Unfortunately, he was a little hard of hearing. My first wish was for a thousand endorsements, but instead all I got was a thousand and four cements which was no fun at all. Then I asked for my UN proposal to achieve quorum, but all it did was achieve forum and get bickered over by the UNers and that was even less fun! I was getting fed up by this point so I decided to ask for something more personal for my third wish, something to please the missus." "What was it?" the first man asks. "Well," says the second man, "do you really think I asked for a big ejection?"
3. Q: Why did the nation cross the mod?
A: To get to The Other Side.
1. A nation walks into a bar and orders a soft drink. The barman gives it to him, whereupon the nation downs it one gulp and asks for another. After fifty drinks, the barman is moved to ask "Why are you buying all these soft drinks?" The nation replies "I've got the pop bug."
2. A man is walking along in the Rejected Realms, when suddenly out of the sky falls a man. The man plunges into the ground and gets up, in some considerable pain. The first man helps him up and asks what happened. The other man replied "I'm a UN delegate, and I recently found a genie who would grant me three wishes. Unfortunately, he was a little hard of hearing. My first wish was for a thousand endorsements, but instead all I got was a thousand and four cements which was no fun at all. Then I asked for my UN proposal to achieve quorum, but all it did was achieve forum and get bickered over by the UNers and that was even less fun! I was getting fed up by this point so I decided to ask for something more personal for my third wish, something to please the missus." "What was it?" the first man asks. "Well," says the second man, "do you really think I asked for a big ejection?"
3. Q: Why did the nation cross the mod?
A: To get to The Other Side.
29 May 2005
Summer Death
Ever since I joined the site on the 14th of April 2003 (a day of enormous occult significance in my nation now. It's rumoured to be the one day of the year when the flightless hippos sleep and therefore stop crapping over everyone's shiny bicycles (cars were banned long ago).), I have noticed that the number of nations existing drop drastically during the summer months, sometimes plunging by as much as 10000 nations. That's a lot of citizens going up to the great region in the sky.
The reasons are obvious of course. Only a crazy person would sit in front of the computer all day when they could be outside enjoying the glorious weather, the wonderful bronzed beaches and the cool (well, bloody freezing I admit) sea as it gently ebbs up the stone-spotted shore. I have an excuse of course. I'm Scottish, and therefore summer means brief episodes of brilliant sunshine amidst dark gloomy periods of storms and endless rain.
Anyway, you just watch out for it. The world's population is about to go in the opposite direction of the barometer.
The reasons are obvious of course. Only a crazy person would sit in front of the computer all day when they could be outside enjoying the glorious weather, the wonderful bronzed beaches and the cool (well, bloody freezing I admit) sea as it gently ebbs up the stone-spotted shore. I have an excuse of course. I'm Scottish, and therefore summer means brief episodes of brilliant sunshine amidst dark gloomy periods of storms and endless rain.
Anyway, you just watch out for it. The world's population is about to go in the opposite direction of the barometer.
28 May 2005
Only A Few Days Left
[violet] recently told me that she was going to update the Issue List soon, so those who want theirs looked at within the next couple of months should submit them now! Read the guidelines and the stickies in the 'Got Issues?' forum to help you along. And be careful not to write about a subject which has already been covered!
I'm going to compile a list of issues I reckon need to be written by players (I don't write issues anymore - it'd hardly be fair would it?) for the batch after the next one. Whoever writes the best one will have a very good chance of getting theirs accepted, as I expect the competition to be fierce!
I'm going to compile a list of issues I reckon need to be written by players (I don't write issues anymore - it'd hardly be fair would it?) for the batch after the next one. Whoever writes the best one will have a very good chance of getting theirs accepted, as I expect the competition to be fierce!
27 May 2005
Lancre Cup X: The Final
I wasn't in this month's final, but I did make third place! Here's a transcript of the match review, Dregruk vs. LostLotheria
Lancre Cup X
The Final- Sil-y-Bugghirs
The Refugees of Lost Lotheria versus The Militaristic Dominion of Dregruk
The Clash of the Titans
‘Mwahahaha!’- Dregruk
‘If we win this, will someone give us a country?’- LostLotheria
‘Get out of my way, you bunch of losers’
Someone then whispered something to the Dregruk captain.
‘What do you mean they’re the other team! They’re just a bunch of refugees… Oh. Good luck then chaps’
‘I saw the LostLotheria team earlier’ The Dregruk captain said in the pre-match press conference, ‘And they are the biggest bunch of losers that Lancre could possibly conjure up to face us in the final!’
‘We’re just here you know’
‘Well done. Good. By the way, if you don’t have a country whereabouts do you spend your time?’
‘Well, we spend a good couple of months in the main terminal of BAX airport, you know, in Bestiville?’
‘Right…’
I suppose it was quite a surprise for everyone in Lancre that Lost Lotheria had made it through to the final. They weren’t exactly a professional team, afterall.
The match started with a bang. This bang was followed by a scream. This bang was then investigated and turned out to be a Dregruk player who was preparing some explosives, and they’d gone off in his face.
‘Ow’ the player said.
‘Serves you right…’ A LostLotheria player said.
He was then held down by several of the Dregruk team and covered with Armoured Scorpions.
‘I’ve just about had enough with this cup’ the BLF president said, starting to go into “Mad BLF president” mode, ‘We have a really badly burnt player, and a really badly stung player. Could things get much worse…’
They could. Dregruk were in an even more cheating mode than usual, and possessed Mallets and giant machine guns. These were used with painful consequences.
However, LostLotheria scored an awesome three goals in the first half and looked like they’d won it.
Guess what happened in the second half though.
Come on, guess. It was slightly like what happened to AC Milan last night.
The new champions of Lancre are Dregruk. What is the world coming to?
The game ended LostLotheria 3 Dregruk 5
Final results:
1st- Dregruk
2nd- LostLotheria
3rd- Sirocco
Highest scoring team- Dregruk
Bestiville award for sheer Crappiness- Rachels Insanity, SAF, Hoge and Blu-tac
Lancre Cup X
The Final- Sil-y-Bugghirs
The Refugees of Lost Lotheria versus The Militaristic Dominion of Dregruk
The Clash of the Titans
‘Mwahahaha!’- Dregruk
‘If we win this, will someone give us a country?’- LostLotheria
‘Get out of my way, you bunch of losers’
Someone then whispered something to the Dregruk captain.
‘What do you mean they’re the other team! They’re just a bunch of refugees… Oh. Good luck then chaps’
‘I saw the LostLotheria team earlier’ The Dregruk captain said in the pre-match press conference, ‘And they are the biggest bunch of losers that Lancre could possibly conjure up to face us in the final!’
‘We’re just here you know’
‘Well done. Good. By the way, if you don’t have a country whereabouts do you spend your time?’
‘Well, we spend a good couple of months in the main terminal of BAX airport, you know, in Bestiville?’
‘Right…’
I suppose it was quite a surprise for everyone in Lancre that Lost Lotheria had made it through to the final. They weren’t exactly a professional team, afterall.
The match started with a bang. This bang was followed by a scream. This bang was then investigated and turned out to be a Dregruk player who was preparing some explosives, and they’d gone off in his face.
‘Ow’ the player said.
‘Serves you right…’ A LostLotheria player said.
He was then held down by several of the Dregruk team and covered with Armoured Scorpions.
‘I’ve just about had enough with this cup’ the BLF president said, starting to go into “Mad BLF president” mode, ‘We have a really badly burnt player, and a really badly stung player. Could things get much worse…’
They could. Dregruk were in an even more cheating mode than usual, and possessed Mallets and giant machine guns. These were used with painful consequences.
However, LostLotheria scored an awesome three goals in the first half and looked like they’d won it.
Guess what happened in the second half though.
Come on, guess. It was slightly like what happened to AC Milan last night.
The new champions of Lancre are Dregruk. What is the world coming to?
The game ended LostLotheria 3 Dregruk 5
Final results:
1st- Dregruk
2nd- LostLotheria
3rd- Sirocco
Highest scoring team- Dregruk
Bestiville award for sheer Crappiness- Rachels Insanity, SAF, Hoge and Blu-tac
26 May 2005
Moving Pictures
Dregruk, a nation in my region and also an ardent RPer in the forums, created an animation about the creation of his nation here.
OK, so it's not the most efficient of animations, but it's still pretty cool and it makes me laugh! I may make my own soon, so watch this space!
Dregruk also keeps his own blog, which is almost as stooped in bitter cynicism as mine. You can read it here: http://theonetruedack.blogspot.com
OK, so it's not the most efficient of animations, but it's still pretty cool and it makes me laugh! I may make my own soon, so watch this space!
Dregruk also keeps his own blog, which is almost as stooped in bitter cynicism as mine. You can read it here: http://theonetruedack.blogspot.com
24 May 2005
New UN Proposal Categories Under Construction
I commented in the previous blog that new UN proposal categories had been in development for a while now, and I thought 'why not give it a bump up the priorities?'
Long story short, I've done a few edits on our ideas (we've had to code it too), and am awaiting feedback from the others. So far it's been completely ignored, but give it a couple of days and I'm sure they'll give it some attention... eventually. Give it time, peoples! They're busy folk!
Long story short, I've done a few edits on our ideas (we've had to code it too), and am awaiting feedback from the others. So far it's been completely ignored, but give it a couple of days and I'm sure they'll give it some attention... eventually. Give it time, peoples! They're busy folk!
23 May 2005
The Wishlist
There's a lot of obvious things that could be done to make NationStates more interesting, so why aren't they there? Here's my top ten of wants (well, yours I suppose, there's a few here that I couldn't care less about), and explanations as to why we can't have them (or at least, satisfactory answers).
1. More Customisation: I want to list the name of my ruler! I want to tell everyone what my capital city is called! But no, we've only got the national animal and currency. Why? Well, this is a guess, since I haven't asked Max Barry personally, but I reckon it's because NationStates was never expected to be so popular (nations were only set to exist for 14 days of inactivity originally!), so only things relevant to the issues would be necessary. We can't add anything new now because it would require such an overhaul to the way the game works. So this has to be set back to NationStates 2.
2. GIVE ME WAR!!!! Woah, hold on, put that loaded rocket launcher with added fancy bits with odd concatenations of numbers and letters down and listen for a second! War would be a very complicated thing, and is only accessible through roleplaying (or, to a lesser extent, region crashing or the Warzones) at the moment. This is set for NationStates 2 also.
3. Trade: ah yes, good ole trade. This is also set for NationStates 2. I don't know if currency exchanges are included, but a fair few enthusiastic entrepreneurs have made their own websites (most notably, Thinkgeek), but these websites tend to be wildly inaccurate. Still, an interesting diversion!
4. More UN categories! More UN proposal categories! With regard to the first, it's not going to happen, as it would require a whole reworking and reconsideration of the entire game. As for the second, we have actually drawn up a bunch of new categories, but I've no idea when we'll get around to incorporating them.
5. More issues per day: this isn't going to change for a multitude of reasons, including the size of your nation's page descriptors, the actual number of issues we've got in the game right now (at present this is 178), coding problems, and the fact that there's no actual point.
6. Maps: I believe this is on the cards for NationStates 2, but until someone comes up with some fantastic way to incorporate the whole of NationStates (130000 nations) on one map with nations constantly dying and coming into existence... well. Nothing to stop you making your own maps of course. A good computer program for this is Terragen
7. Alliances: again, this is set for NationStates 2, and there's many interesting ideas on how these would be created in the NationStates 2 forum.
8. Regional flags: an idea which I'd really like to be realised, but alas alack, we cannot have them. Why? You're gonna hate the answer, but it's because the administrators don't want to. Please don't hurl tomatoes at me!
9. A better region search: unfortunately, the way the game was initially coded means that this is impossible. It would be great to be able to search for regions only beginning with P, or having a certain number of nations, but no. It cannot happen.
10. Ability to save telegrams: this isn't going to happen because it's a waste of time. Use a pen and paper!
Well, I hope that's helped some people. Other questions can be probably answered here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=382519
1. More Customisation: I want to list the name of my ruler! I want to tell everyone what my capital city is called! But no, we've only got the national animal and currency. Why? Well, this is a guess, since I haven't asked Max Barry personally, but I reckon it's because NationStates was never expected to be so popular (nations were only set to exist for 14 days of inactivity originally!), so only things relevant to the issues would be necessary. We can't add anything new now because it would require such an overhaul to the way the game works. So this has to be set back to NationStates 2.
2. GIVE ME WAR!!!! Woah, hold on, put that loaded rocket launcher with added fancy bits with odd concatenations of numbers and letters down and listen for a second! War would be a very complicated thing, and is only accessible through roleplaying (or, to a lesser extent, region crashing or the Warzones) at the moment. This is set for NationStates 2 also.
3. Trade: ah yes, good ole trade. This is also set for NationStates 2. I don't know if currency exchanges are included, but a fair few enthusiastic entrepreneurs have made their own websites (most notably, Thinkgeek), but these websites tend to be wildly inaccurate. Still, an interesting diversion!
4. More UN categories! More UN proposal categories! With regard to the first, it's not going to happen, as it would require a whole reworking and reconsideration of the entire game. As for the second, we have actually drawn up a bunch of new categories, but I've no idea when we'll get around to incorporating them.
5. More issues per day: this isn't going to change for a multitude of reasons, including the size of your nation's page descriptors, the actual number of issues we've got in the game right now (at present this is 178), coding problems, and the fact that there's no actual point.
6. Maps: I believe this is on the cards for NationStates 2, but until someone comes up with some fantastic way to incorporate the whole of NationStates (130000 nations) on one map with nations constantly dying and coming into existence... well. Nothing to stop you making your own maps of course. A good computer program for this is Terragen
7. Alliances: again, this is set for NationStates 2, and there's many interesting ideas on how these would be created in the NationStates 2 forum.
8. Regional flags: an idea which I'd really like to be realised, but alas alack, we cannot have them. Why? You're gonna hate the answer, but it's because the administrators don't want to. Please don't hurl tomatoes at me!
9. A better region search: unfortunately, the way the game was initially coded means that this is impossible. It would be great to be able to search for regions only beginning with P, or having a certain number of nations, but no. It cannot happen.
10. Ability to save telegrams: this isn't going to happen because it's a waste of time. Use a pen and paper!
Well, I hope that's helped some people. Other questions can be probably answered here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=382519
22 May 2005
The United Fandom Of The NationStates Isles
NationStates is an interesting beast. People who play it write stories about the worlds within it, they make websites dedicated to it, they even compose poems about it. I find it fascinating, and wanted to add my own contribution so I composed national anthems for nations, which was all very amusing but I don't have the time for it now. What I think would be really fun though would be to write something which would encapsulate NationStates, and its spirit. But what would it sound like? Squealing guitar riffs and traditional anthems don't seem quite right to me. When I try to imagine what I would hear as I look at the NationStates main page I just draw a big white blankness. I thought maybe something minimalistic, something hypnotic, but who knows? Whatever I eventually come up with will probably be something that no-one else agrees with because NationStates means many different things to many different people. To some, it is an interesting distraction, to others it is a vast cornucopia of possibilities, where billions of lives can be altered with a simple click of the mouse.
And I think that's just great!
And I think that's just great!
21 May 2005
Population
One important factor of any nation is its population. The bigger you are, the more powerful you tend to be. It seems that this is true in NationStates too. Many of the biggest nations in the NS world aren't in the UN (because they don't need to be), and are generally able to amass a following without major problems. Small nations however have lots of problems facing them, they don't have respect, influence, and barely any acknowledgement. So they join the United Nations and start trying to impose their will on others through proposals and the like. It's easy to tell how old a nation in NS is by looking at their population, since it takes roughly three months for someone's population to increase by 500 million. I say roughly, as nation growth is prone to slight fluctuations.
A common misconception in NationStates is that answering more issues makes your population grow faster and that dismissing them makes it increase more slowly. This is not true. There is absolutely nothing you can do to affect your nation unless your nation expires in which case you've got zip. Issues do not affect your population.
Well, that's about all I wanted to say on population. Ciao!
A common misconception in NationStates is that answering more issues makes your population grow faster and that dismissing them makes it increase more slowly. This is not true. There is absolutely nothing you can do to affect your nation unless your nation expires in which case you've got zip. Issues do not affect your population.
Well, that's about all I wanted to say on population. Ciao!
20 May 2005
Please Form An Orderly Queue
The issues that I edit come in 'batches' which one of the administrators will supply after the previous one has been sucked dry. Well, theoretically. It can take a lot of harassment and pestering to get them to do what I want sometimes. These batches can be quite big or small, depending on the time it's taken to form. They used to come in thousands at the very start because there were so many submitters who had been submitting for a long time before Max Barry decided to hand the torch over to the mods. Nowadays, the batches come in at around 300 issues per month. The previous batch (which ran from October 2004 to the 18th of March) has been finished. All the issues from that period have been either deleted or put into the game (this excepts about six issues which Myrth beavered at a long time ago and which still remain in his 'checked-out' pile. I believe he's still awaiting approval from Max or [violet], I forget which.).
So what does this mean for you guys? Well, firstly it means that any of you wanting your issue to be looked at over the next few months should submit it now so you don't have to wait for half a year for us to look at them. Take note of the guidelines and other issues so you know yours stands in with a chance! There's lots of stickies in the 'Got Issues?' forum to help you perfect yours. But you'll have to hurry! I doubt that I'll still be waiting for a new batch by next Friday.
So what does this mean for you guys? Well, firstly it means that any of you wanting your issue to be looked at over the next few months should submit it now so you don't have to wait for half a year for us to look at them. Take note of the guidelines and other issues so you know yours stands in with a chance! There's lots of stickies in the 'Got Issues?' forum to help you perfect yours. But you'll have to hurry! I doubt that I'll still be waiting for a new batch by next Friday.
19 May 2005
The Flightless Hippo
The Flightless Hippo
Over the years, my nation has slowly become synonymous with hippos, flightless or not. But where did it come from? Well, it's quite simple:
When I created my nation, I quickly thought of Sirocco as a name for it (explanations are in a previous blog: What's In A Name?), and made it a fiefdom because I live in the county of Fife, Scotland which is also where I was born, and chose the Belarussian flag because I liked it. The motto started out as 'Nullus Anxietas' ("No Worries") which I'd lifted from a book called The Last Continent. I later changed it to a motto of my own devising ("Don't ask me, I only govern here") which I have used ever since. The currency started out as "arm and a leg" but I soon changed it to IOU which it has remained as since.
The flightless hippo has never been changed as my national animal, as it's become a symbol of me which is apparently recognisable anywhere. But where did I get the idea from, I hear you ask, your thirst for knowledge overpowering my weak defences. The answer, as I've already said, is quite simple, and I was about to tell you it before you so rudely interrupted me.
Ahem.
I didn't get the idea from anywhere. It just sprung into my mind. I was thinking about putting something like 'winged cat' or 'seventy-foot tall turtle' or something improbable like that when I thought it would be amusing to give the animal a characteristic that while supposedly marking it out would be pointless because all the other types have it anyway. I thought of a hippo. What can't hippos do? Fly, of course! And thus, the flightless hippo was born.
A few weeks later, I was intrigued to find that a nation called 1 Infinite Loop was designing flags for people, and I thought 'Wow! That's great!' So I asked for a purple hippo with wings (the thought occured to me that it would be funny for a flightless hippo to have wings) against a yellow background. 1 Infinite Loop obliged, and I've kept the flag ever since.
The notion that after all the thought that went into the name, flightless hippos could fly, later struck me as amusing during an RP. And thus the confusion began whenever I talked about flightless hippos soaring through the midnight skies with grace and dignity and terrifying roars of bloodlust.
The eventual evolved description of the flightless hippo can be read here: The Flightless Hippo.
I reckon flightless hippos would look great on T-shirts or as soft toys, but sadly I'm pretty sure that if there were ever any NationStates merchandise they would not be included!
Over the years, my nation has slowly become synonymous with hippos, flightless or not. But where did it come from? Well, it's quite simple:
When I created my nation, I quickly thought of Sirocco as a name for it (explanations are in a previous blog: What's In A Name?), and made it a fiefdom because I live in the county of Fife, Scotland which is also where I was born, and chose the Belarussian flag because I liked it. The motto started out as 'Nullus Anxietas' ("No Worries") which I'd lifted from a book called The Last Continent. I later changed it to a motto of my own devising ("Don't ask me, I only govern here") which I have used ever since. The currency started out as "arm and a leg" but I soon changed it to IOU which it has remained as since.
The flightless hippo has never been changed as my national animal, as it's become a symbol of me which is apparently recognisable anywhere. But where did I get the idea from, I hear you ask, your thirst for knowledge overpowering my weak defences. The answer, as I've already said, is quite simple, and I was about to tell you it before you so rudely interrupted me.
Ahem.
I didn't get the idea from anywhere. It just sprung into my mind. I was thinking about putting something like 'winged cat' or 'seventy-foot tall turtle' or something improbable like that when I thought it would be amusing to give the animal a characteristic that while supposedly marking it out would be pointless because all the other types have it anyway. I thought of a hippo. What can't hippos do? Fly, of course! And thus, the flightless hippo was born.
A few weeks later, I was intrigued to find that a nation called 1 Infinite Loop was designing flags for people, and I thought 'Wow! That's great!' So I asked for a purple hippo with wings (the thought occured to me that it would be funny for a flightless hippo to have wings) against a yellow background. 1 Infinite Loop obliged, and I've kept the flag ever since.
The notion that after all the thought that went into the name, flightless hippos could fly, later struck me as amusing during an RP. And thus the confusion began whenever I talked about flightless hippos soaring through the midnight skies with grace and dignity and terrifying roars of bloodlust.
The eventual evolved description of the flightless hippo can be read here: The Flightless Hippo.
I reckon flightless hippos would look great on T-shirts or as soft toys, but sadly I'm pretty sure that if there were ever any NationStates merchandise they would not be included!
18 May 2005
It's All About Adverts
It's been a while since I've talked about regional politics, so I thought I'd mention something which, depending on your point of view, is either a useful NationStates tool, or a self-serving scourge of the site: namely, regional advertisements.
Almost every region will hit across the problem of recruitment, unless you're a lone wolf in which case you don't care, or you're the delegate of one of the Pacifics, in which case you don't need to. There are various solutions of course, some of them are obvious, some of them are McDonaldesque in their cynicism, some of them are innocent, and some are against the rules.
Let's consider the brand marketing adverts first.
One way in which some regions can gain greater membership is to have a region which is well-exposed, has a good name, and a bold and sunny appearance (where applicable anyway - this IS NationStates). Such regions usually have 'obvious' names, coming from real countries, continents, et cetera. Or they will try to gain acknowledgement through other means, for example adding long strings of zeroes to the beginning in order to appear near the beginning of the region-list (which, sadly due to technical limitations, cannot have a search engine). Personally I would never feel comfortable in a region with such a crap name though. The main reason I named my region 'Lancre' was because it had a nice solid sound to it and is a great name for a region. Those places without snappy names have resort to other techniques however.
As any new nation will know, about thirty seconds after coming into existence you will be plagued with telegrams asking you to join a region, offering love, fun, organised government, and other such joys and treasures. This is where the cynicism sets in because it's exactly the same trick used by junk food companies (and quite a few other industries are guilty of the same thing). What they're doing is getting them while they're young. Such innocent nations think "Oh, wow, I must be incredibly special to have received such an invitation! They must really want me!" and of course they're soon immersed in the region's politics before they can explore and fully appreciate the scope of the game. Prevents them mentally from considering creating their own region, or finding one which is more well-tailored for their individual needs instead of a hefty huge region whose main aim is power. That's great from one point of view, because it's such amazing initiative and really adds a whole new dimension to the NationStates community. On a personal level it's a bugger, but there you go.
Such telegrams and regional messageboard adverts have to fit to the rules of course, to prevent spam. You can't advertise in player-created regions (which leaves The Pacific, The North Pacific, The East Pacific, The West Pacific, The South Pacific, The Rejected Realms, Lazarus, and the warzones). This is because it would be a real pain if some prat came into your region and said "Hey, come and join my region! It's got bells on!" and then left. You can only advertise your region on the messageboards once a day for obvious reasons.
As for using scripts, that's DEFINITELY against the rules as it is spam of one of the most invasive and annoying types. No script may be used to send unsolicited telegrams.
How did I advertise my region? Well, as I've said in earlier blogs, I tried to make Lancre more interesting. For example, I created The Lancre Cup (fun for all the family), indiscriminately encouraged everyone to try to be delegate (still do), and generally told everyone that the most important thing about being in Lancre is to have fun. Otherwise there'd be no point. To actually get people shifting bottoms into the region I simply created a thread in the NationStates forum (there was no Gameplay forum back then) which had lots of info about the region and basically said "Come along if you want". I created another thread a few months ago too, but it didn't attract much attention. Too much jousting from people who wanted new members more than I did, I suppose!
The best method I've personally discovered is to get everyone to encourage friends to join NationStates and then join Lancre - if they want to, of course. I may be a cynic at heart, but I don't like cynicism. It's a tad boring and isn't anywhere near as fun and imaginative as I want Lancre to be.
Almost every region will hit across the problem of recruitment, unless you're a lone wolf in which case you don't care, or you're the delegate of one of the Pacifics, in which case you don't need to. There are various solutions of course, some of them are obvious, some of them are McDonaldesque in their cynicism, some of them are innocent, and some are against the rules.
Let's consider the brand marketing adverts first.
One way in which some regions can gain greater membership is to have a region which is well-exposed, has a good name, and a bold and sunny appearance (where applicable anyway - this IS NationStates). Such regions usually have 'obvious' names, coming from real countries, continents, et cetera. Or they will try to gain acknowledgement through other means, for example adding long strings of zeroes to the beginning in order to appear near the beginning of the region-list (which, sadly due to technical limitations, cannot have a search engine). Personally I would never feel comfortable in a region with such a crap name though. The main reason I named my region 'Lancre' was because it had a nice solid sound to it and is a great name for a region. Those places without snappy names have resort to other techniques however.
As any new nation will know, about thirty seconds after coming into existence you will be plagued with telegrams asking you to join a region, offering love, fun, organised government, and other such joys and treasures. This is where the cynicism sets in because it's exactly the same trick used by junk food companies (and quite a few other industries are guilty of the same thing). What they're doing is getting them while they're young. Such innocent nations think "Oh, wow, I must be incredibly special to have received such an invitation! They must really want me!" and of course they're soon immersed in the region's politics before they can explore and fully appreciate the scope of the game. Prevents them mentally from considering creating their own region, or finding one which is more well-tailored for their individual needs instead of a hefty huge region whose main aim is power. That's great from one point of view, because it's such amazing initiative and really adds a whole new dimension to the NationStates community. On a personal level it's a bugger, but there you go.
Such telegrams and regional messageboard adverts have to fit to the rules of course, to prevent spam. You can't advertise in player-created regions (which leaves The Pacific, The North Pacific, The East Pacific, The West Pacific, The South Pacific, The Rejected Realms, Lazarus, and the warzones). This is because it would be a real pain if some prat came into your region and said "Hey, come and join my region! It's got bells on!" and then left. You can only advertise your region on the messageboards once a day for obvious reasons.
As for using scripts, that's DEFINITELY against the rules as it is spam of one of the most invasive and annoying types. No script may be used to send unsolicited telegrams.
How did I advertise my region? Well, as I've said in earlier blogs, I tried to make Lancre more interesting. For example, I created The Lancre Cup (fun for all the family), indiscriminately encouraged everyone to try to be delegate (still do), and generally told everyone that the most important thing about being in Lancre is to have fun. Otherwise there'd be no point. To actually get people shifting bottoms into the region I simply created a thread in the NationStates forum (there was no Gameplay forum back then) which had lots of info about the region and basically said "Come along if you want". I created another thread a few months ago too, but it didn't attract much attention. Too much jousting from people who wanted new members more than I did, I suppose!
The best method I've personally discovered is to get everyone to encourage friends to join NationStates and then join Lancre - if they want to, of course. I may be a cynic at heart, but I don't like cynicism. It's a tad boring and isn't anywhere near as fun and imaginative as I want Lancre to be.
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